You Don't Mess with the Zohan
(C+ or 2.5/4 stars)
I've never been one of the biggest Adam Sandler lovers. But I always give him the benefit of the doubt, anyway. Thanks to ingenious comedic writer Judd Apatow, Sandler is back on track with 'You Don't Mess with the Zohan'. This time around he plays Zohan Dvir, a Mossad agent who fakes his own death. He's tired of all the killing (a lot of his own doing) and looks to leave his beloved Israel. Disguised (barely), he relocates to New York City to live-out his true dream. Yes, Zohan wants to be a hair stylist. It's a ridiculous concept. But there are many laughs to be had at his expense. At 110 minutes, it almost wears out its welcome. But this is GOOD Sandler; and it's good goofball entertainment.
To me, the first 10 min. are weak, and the last 20-25 really loses its edge. But almost everything in the middle is funny, or VERY funny. To start: Zohan is a one-of-a-kind assassin. Not only is he indestructible, but he loves disco dancing, & barbecuing in the nude. Fed up with the Middle East conflict(s), all Zohan wants to do is live in peace, eat as much hummus as humanly possible (think back to Greek Wedding's gag of applying Windex on everything), and create 'silky smooth hair' for people. It is during a slapstick battle with arch enemy 'The Phantom' (John Turturro) that Zohan fakes his death & bolts for America.
He's changed his name to Scrappy Coco (after bunking with 2 dogs of the same name on the flight over) and goes to work for (uh oh) a Palestinian hairdresser named Dalia (an extremely attractive Emmanuelle Chriqui). Not believing his hairdressing claims, she initially takes him on as an unpaid hair sweeper (funny segment). But an opportunity arises for him to cut a woman's hair when a stylist fails to show up for work. Using an insanely sensual, sexual manner of cutting hair (mostly to women aged 60+), Zohan becomes a sure fire hit in the haircutting world. Of course, the fact that he takes them into a backroom and has sex with them after the haircut doesn't hurt his appeal. The comedic highlights of 'Zohan' come from these hair shop sequences.
The movie goes off the rails a bit when some subpar subplots creep in to the already heinous plot. 1) A self-obsessive land tycoon (an unfunny Michael Buffer) wants to buy out the hair shop so he can build a huge shopping mall. At no time is anything surrounding this subplot (including hiring Southern rednecks to take-out the Middle-Easterns) funny; just lazy energy & lazy writing. 2) Rob Schneider dresses up as a terrorist cab driver who was 'done wrong' by Zohan back in Israel. I found it annoying that a good portion of this film revolved around his goat being stolen. Now, someone who WAS funny in Schneider's presence was his moronic, eye-popping pal, Nasi (Daoud Heidami). 3) Mariah Carey's presence in any film is an abomination. 4) And WHAT was 82 yr. old Charlotte Rae (Facts of Life) doing in this? She tries to get nailed by Zohan in the backroom; but he goes limp. Go figure.
Even some of the larger aspects of the plot fails: the romance btwn. Zohan & Dalia is too surfacey. They have little chemistry/basis for a relationship. Some of the big jokes (once funny) become repetitive as the film proceeds. And John Turturro's turn as the 'villain' is funny, in theory. But I unfortunately found him to be only intermittently entertaining. Ditto that for all the SNL alumni who pop up. Lots of things were 'funny' ... in theory.
That said, the movie is mesmerizing whenever Zohan is onscreen. Seriously, he's one of my favorite Sandler characters of all time now. The energy he puts into this role is given right back by the amounts of laughter directed at him from his audience. Sandler is on his A Game here. Some of the lampooning of Middle East (socio-political) conflicts, homosexuality, & Judaism are humorous. I didn't find them offensive, but others definitely may. You see, I give this a ‘pass’ from the sheer amount of laughs I had. But the film almost has as many duds (stall points) as it has hysterics.
Good points: I loved Lainie Kazan's dead pan delivery of one-liners (but could have done without a shot of her backside, and/or her son's cliched reactions to her relationship with Zohan); ... listening to Chris Rock rant & rave; ... watching Claude (Alec Mapa) react to shampoo bottles falling off a wall while Zohan has sex with an old lady in the backroom; ... and any sequence involving a cat and/or playing hacky sack. My sides hurt from laughing. But there you have it ... cats & a hacky sack. Those are the grounds for comedy here. Largely hit & miss, I still recommend 'Zohan' for a fun night out.
To me, the first 10 min. are weak, and the last 20-25 really loses its edge. But almost everything in the middle is funny, or VERY funny. To start: Zohan is a one-of-a-kind assassin. Not only is he indestructible, but he loves disco dancing, & barbecuing in the nude. Fed up with the Middle East conflict(s), all Zohan wants to do is live in peace, eat as much hummus as humanly possible (think back to Greek Wedding's gag of applying Windex on everything), and create 'silky smooth hair' for people. It is during a slapstick battle with arch enemy 'The Phantom' (John Turturro) that Zohan fakes his death & bolts for America.
He's changed his name to Scrappy Coco (after bunking with 2 dogs of the same name on the flight over) and goes to work for (uh oh) a Palestinian hairdresser named Dalia (an extremely attractive Emmanuelle Chriqui). Not believing his hairdressing claims, she initially takes him on as an unpaid hair sweeper (funny segment). But an opportunity arises for him to cut a woman's hair when a stylist fails to show up for work. Using an insanely sensual, sexual manner of cutting hair (mostly to women aged 60+), Zohan becomes a sure fire hit in the haircutting world. Of course, the fact that he takes them into a backroom and has sex with them after the haircut doesn't hurt his appeal. The comedic highlights of 'Zohan' come from these hair shop sequences.
The movie goes off the rails a bit when some subpar subplots creep in to the already heinous plot. 1) A self-obsessive land tycoon (an unfunny Michael Buffer) wants to buy out the hair shop so he can build a huge shopping mall. At no time is anything surrounding this subplot (including hiring Southern rednecks to take-out the Middle-Easterns) funny; just lazy energy & lazy writing. 2) Rob Schneider dresses up as a terrorist cab driver who was 'done wrong' by Zohan back in Israel. I found it annoying that a good portion of this film revolved around his goat being stolen. Now, someone who WAS funny in Schneider's presence was his moronic, eye-popping pal, Nasi (Daoud Heidami). 3) Mariah Carey's presence in any film is an abomination. 4) And WHAT was 82 yr. old Charlotte Rae (Facts of Life) doing in this? She tries to get nailed by Zohan in the backroom; but he goes limp. Go figure.
Even some of the larger aspects of the plot fails: the romance btwn. Zohan & Dalia is too surfacey. They have little chemistry/basis for a relationship. Some of the big jokes (once funny) become repetitive as the film proceeds. And John Turturro's turn as the 'villain' is funny, in theory. But I unfortunately found him to be only intermittently entertaining. Ditto that for all the SNL alumni who pop up. Lots of things were 'funny' ... in theory.
That said, the movie is mesmerizing whenever Zohan is onscreen. Seriously, he's one of my favorite Sandler characters of all time now. The energy he puts into this role is given right back by the amounts of laughter directed at him from his audience. Sandler is on his A Game here. Some of the lampooning of Middle East (socio-political) conflicts, homosexuality, & Judaism are humorous. I didn't find them offensive, but others definitely may. You see, I give this a ‘pass’ from the sheer amount of laughs I had. But the film almost has as many duds (stall points) as it has hysterics.
Good points: I loved Lainie Kazan's dead pan delivery of one-liners (but could have done without a shot of her backside, and/or her son's cliched reactions to her relationship with Zohan); ... listening to Chris Rock rant & rave; ... watching Claude (Alec Mapa) react to shampoo bottles falling off a wall while Zohan has sex with an old lady in the backroom; ... and any sequence involving a cat and/or playing hacky sack. My sides hurt from laughing. But there you have it ... cats & a hacky sack. Those are the grounds for comedy here. Largely hit & miss, I still recommend 'Zohan' for a fun night out.