Ninja Assassin (F or 0/4 stars)
Well, ladies & gents, I have my 2nd "F" film of the year to tell you about, & it is called 'Ninja Assassin' (directed by James McTeigue). Raizo (Korean pop star, Rain) is an incredibly deadly Ninja assassin. Honed as an orphaned child, he was trained into a killer by the Ozunu Clan; a secret society whose identity had always been considered a myth. But haunted by the bloody murder of his girlfriend by the Clan, Raizo turns his back on them, & leaves for good; off to prepare & perfect his revenge for their incessant, gruesome, & heartless murders. The story then picks up in Berlin, Germany where Europol agent Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris) has come upon a $$ trail linking several recent political murders to the underground league of assassins (Ozunu Clan).
Going against orders, Mika finds some dangerous, top secret agency files & learns the truth behind those murders. But her investigation makes her an easy target, & the Ozunu's send a team of trained killers led by the menacing Takeshi to finish her off. Now a sort of hero, Raizo comes to her rescue & saves her from the Ozunus. However, he knows that the clan will not give up til the 2 of them are killed. So, intertwined in a sadistic and deadly game of cat & mouse, Raizo & Mika must make nice, form a bond, & trust each other completely if they are to survive the assassin onslaught. And if Raizo can survive, it would put him in position to battle & take down his former master; which would mark a definitive end of the powerful Ozunu Clan.
Sure, aspects of 'Ninja Assassin' may have been executed with some skill. You know, special effects, ninja choreography, etc. An R-rated bloodbath actioner was never going to be my 'thing'. But I was somewhat hopeful. Turns out ... I couldn't care less about the story. The action/violence comes across as cartoonish. The slow scenes plod along with absolutely no interest. There is no humor to be found anywhere. Everything is uber-serious, dour, & lacks cinematic personality of any kind. I couldn't care less about the bland, non-descript, interchangeable characters. Most of the film feels like it was shot in the dark.
And the gore? Ohhh, the gore. The amount of it here is just insane. I've never minded splashes & bursts of gore. Never. When filmed in the right way in the right type of movie, it can be invigorating. But this movie seems to pride itself on showing as many stylized slaughterings, slicings, dicings, beheadings, body vivisections, severed appendages, organ splatters, bone-crunching, & bloodletting as humanly possible; and almost all of the "gore" is special effects aided ... which kinda sucks. Overall, 'Ninja Assassin' is just one of those brainless movies where the overall effect is far worse than any of its individual parts (and they stink, too). I just really, really disliked this movie and would recommend it to no one.
Going against orders, Mika finds some dangerous, top secret agency files & learns the truth behind those murders. But her investigation makes her an easy target, & the Ozunu's send a team of trained killers led by the menacing Takeshi to finish her off. Now a sort of hero, Raizo comes to her rescue & saves her from the Ozunus. However, he knows that the clan will not give up til the 2 of them are killed. So, intertwined in a sadistic and deadly game of cat & mouse, Raizo & Mika must make nice, form a bond, & trust each other completely if they are to survive the assassin onslaught. And if Raizo can survive, it would put him in position to battle & take down his former master; which would mark a definitive end of the powerful Ozunu Clan.
Sure, aspects of 'Ninja Assassin' may have been executed with some skill. You know, special effects, ninja choreography, etc. An R-rated bloodbath actioner was never going to be my 'thing'. But I was somewhat hopeful. Turns out ... I couldn't care less about the story. The action/violence comes across as cartoonish. The slow scenes plod along with absolutely no interest. There is no humor to be found anywhere. Everything is uber-serious, dour, & lacks cinematic personality of any kind. I couldn't care less about the bland, non-descript, interchangeable characters. Most of the film feels like it was shot in the dark.
And the gore? Ohhh, the gore. The amount of it here is just insane. I've never minded splashes & bursts of gore. Never. When filmed in the right way in the right type of movie, it can be invigorating. But this movie seems to pride itself on showing as many stylized slaughterings, slicings, dicings, beheadings, body vivisections, severed appendages, organ splatters, bone-crunching, & bloodletting as humanly possible; and almost all of the "gore" is special effects aided ... which kinda sucks. Overall, 'Ninja Assassin' is just one of those brainless movies where the overall effect is far worse than any of its individual parts (and they stink, too). I just really, really disliked this movie and would recommend it to no one.