Fifty Shades Freed (C- or 1.5/4 stars)
Okay, people. Part 3 of 3 of the Fifty Shades franchise. Let's get this over with. 'Fifty Shades Freed' (directed again by James Foley) begins with the wedding of Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) & Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), who immediately head-off to their luxurious worldwide-spanning honeymoon on a private plane. After sightseeing & making love evvvvverywhere, Mr. & Mrs. Grey are forced to return to Seattle, Washington when Christian is informed that an arsonist set fire to his company's server room. The perpetrator is - based on the ending of the last film, of course - Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), Ana's former boss/attacker.
After Jack is arrested for starting said fire, Ana & Christian continue their life as amorous newlyweds: they set-off on his jet; they have some sex; they buy a mansion that anyone would die to have ("This is yours!?" she asks him ... no sh*t, Sherlock); they have some sex; they travel with some friends; they have some sex; they relax on his yacht; they have some more sex; she is promoted to a position at her job that she's not sure she deserves; and Christian annoyingly mopes around about Ana's commitment to her work {and that she wants to keep her last name Steele instead of Grey for work purposes} -- Ana even calls Christian out when he falls back into controlling/possessive ways of old (she tells him, "You can't keep me in a cage"). Plus ... Ana's desire to have a baby clashes with Christian's selfishness to keep her for himself. Melodrama ensues & danger lurks (fistfights, car chases, kidnappings) as smarmy Jack finds his way back into the lives of Ana & Christian.
Oy. I'm GLAD these films are over with. No more books to spawn sequels from. The only reason I'm not giving this turd of a film some horrific rating because I've grown accustomed to these characters; however thinly drawn they are. Dakota Johnson is this series' saving grace; giving the character of Anastasia some charisma & LIFE. Jamie Dornan miiiight be a decent actor, but it sure doesn't come across here as Christian Grey; sure, he's a good looking guy, but the rest of him is mush. In fact, the character of Christian is pretty unlikeable & underdeveloped; not something you want in a Lead. Let's see, what else. Oh, the dialogue is as wooden as ever. And I had to laugh at Christian serenading Maybe I'm Amazed to Ana at one point. Cringe!
The proceedings are almost completely PLOT-free (let's just watch these two have sex in a plethora of pretty places). There is no compelling story, here. The 1st film had a plot. The 2nd film had less so; and now nothing, here. Aside from the flaccid marital woes that our central couple encounters + the Jack subplot ... this film is little more than a series of those artfully shot sex scenes. By the way, though we see a lot of heaving, thrusting & nudity {though, mostly her}, those sex scenes are fairly devoid of passion or genuine eroticism/kinkiness -- it's a bummer. There's even a lovemaking interlude when they're in Seattle that includes them licking Ben & Jerrys ice cream off each other. It wasn't hot, just weird.
I don't know what else to say. The film has its built-in base that inexplicably came back for more with each film. As with the books, each film got worse. I've already gone into details as to why this is a crappy film. Having said all of that, 'Fifty Shades Freed' - like the other films in this franchise - looks good. The production values are stellar. The characters kinda grew on me like a weed. As mentioned, I've always been impressed with Dakota Johnson. And I gotta admit that the final minutes of this film - which wraps everything up with a pretty bow & an improbably happy ending - made my smile. Maybe it was the reprise of the familiar Love Me Like You Do song (from the 1st film) that blared in the background. Warts & all, I never 'hated' any of these movies. They are too bland & harmless to hate.
After Jack is arrested for starting said fire, Ana & Christian continue their life as amorous newlyweds: they set-off on his jet; they have some sex; they buy a mansion that anyone would die to have ("This is yours!?" she asks him ... no sh*t, Sherlock); they have some sex; they travel with some friends; they have some sex; they relax on his yacht; they have some more sex; she is promoted to a position at her job that she's not sure she deserves; and Christian annoyingly mopes around about Ana's commitment to her work {and that she wants to keep her last name Steele instead of Grey for work purposes} -- Ana even calls Christian out when he falls back into controlling/possessive ways of old (she tells him, "You can't keep me in a cage"). Plus ... Ana's desire to have a baby clashes with Christian's selfishness to keep her for himself. Melodrama ensues & danger lurks (fistfights, car chases, kidnappings) as smarmy Jack finds his way back into the lives of Ana & Christian.
Oy. I'm GLAD these films are over with. No more books to spawn sequels from. The only reason I'm not giving this turd of a film some horrific rating because I've grown accustomed to these characters; however thinly drawn they are. Dakota Johnson is this series' saving grace; giving the character of Anastasia some charisma & LIFE. Jamie Dornan miiiight be a decent actor, but it sure doesn't come across here as Christian Grey; sure, he's a good looking guy, but the rest of him is mush. In fact, the character of Christian is pretty unlikeable & underdeveloped; not something you want in a Lead. Let's see, what else. Oh, the dialogue is as wooden as ever. And I had to laugh at Christian serenading Maybe I'm Amazed to Ana at one point. Cringe!
The proceedings are almost completely PLOT-free (let's just watch these two have sex in a plethora of pretty places). There is no compelling story, here. The 1st film had a plot. The 2nd film had less so; and now nothing, here. Aside from the flaccid marital woes that our central couple encounters + the Jack subplot ... this film is little more than a series of those artfully shot sex scenes. By the way, though we see a lot of heaving, thrusting & nudity {though, mostly her}, those sex scenes are fairly devoid of passion or genuine eroticism/kinkiness -- it's a bummer. There's even a lovemaking interlude when they're in Seattle that includes them licking Ben & Jerrys ice cream off each other. It wasn't hot, just weird.
I don't know what else to say. The film has its built-in base that inexplicably came back for more with each film. As with the books, each film got worse. I've already gone into details as to why this is a crappy film. Having said all of that, 'Fifty Shades Freed' - like the other films in this franchise - looks good. The production values are stellar. The characters kinda grew on me like a weed. As mentioned, I've always been impressed with Dakota Johnson. And I gotta admit that the final minutes of this film - which wraps everything up with a pretty bow & an improbably happy ending - made my smile. Maybe it was the reprise of the familiar Love Me Like You Do song (from the 1st film) that blared in the background. Warts & all, I never 'hated' any of these movies. They are too bland & harmless to hate.