G.I. Joe: Retaliation (D+ or 1.5/4 stars)
Oh, boy. I pretty much loathed 2009's G.I. Goe: Rise of the Cobra. I lamented the probability that a sequel would come one day. And alas, here it is. The premise for 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' (directed by Jon M. Chu) is a hybrid of a 3rd rate 007 movie and a 3rd rate superhero flick. The "plot" involves megalomaniac Zartan (Arnold Vosloo, of The Mummy fame), an underling of Cobra Commander (from the '09 film) who plans who uses a ridiculously over-the-top scheme to achieve world domination. Here, after using nanotechnology {ugh} to impersonate the President of the U.S. (Jonathan Pryce ... what are you DOING in this?).
Zartan's 1st goal after taking over America is to send out a kill team led by Firefly (Ray Stevenson) to murder Duke (Channing Tatum), Roadblock (too self-serious Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Flint (D.J. Cotrona), & the rest of the 'Joes'. Tragedy strikes, but the surviving Joes return to the U.S. to seek out the "original Joe" ... Gen. Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) & co-opt his aid. Zartan turns his attention (temporarily) from killing the Joes to global disarmament. Meanwhile, Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) successfully executes his mission of freeing Cobra Commander from his underground prison. Mayhem ensues.
How is it that dumb, dumb, DUMB screenplays for movies like this actually come to fruition. Now, I expect a 'certain' degree of stupidity to go along with the exorbitant amount of CGI effects & explosions that films of this ilk offer. It kinda goes with the territory. It can even be welcome when you're looking for a 2 hour escape from the world. Unfortunately, the overall quality of 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' is so poor that it is nearly impossible to excuse. The script, the dialogue, the cardboard characters, et al ... seems to have been written for kids. The enormous world-saving stuff is convoluted. The spectacle on display feels empty.
The only reason I'm giving this film a D+ and not an F is because there are a few humorous one-liners and one sequence that warrants mention. It is the rock climbing ninja fight on a mountaintop. There's some real ingenuity in how the fight/chase is accomplished. I guess I could also mention the special effects work in the demolition of London sequence. But that plotline is so irritating that it pretty much negates, for me, the CGI accomplishment. But for the rest of the "action" (you know, guns, violence, running, brutality, pyrotechnics, deaths) ... it is all so joyless & devoid of tension. Why? Because little-to-no attention is given to the characters. We don't really care if they're in danger or not. Everything in 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' is perfunctory & soulless.
I wasn't excited. It's tiring to watch action sequences that never seem to end. As with the '09 film, I was mostly bored. Capitalizing on Channing Tatum's recent box office stardom, the filmmakers delayed the release of this movie so that they could re-shoot and add/expand scenes with him in them (adding about 10 minutes, apparently). These scenes are evident because they come across as unrelated filler to the narrative and his character is not well-treated by 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation', if you get my drift. He disappears after the 20 minute mark for good. And so, when you have 2 stars such as Dwayne Johnson (who is a charisma cipher) & Channing Tatum (who is only slightly better), and you get rid of one ... then chances are that the movie will tank.
Like Tatum, Dwayne Johnson is quite likeable in commercials, interviews, talk shows. They're congenial guys. And with the right roles, they're fine. But 'The Rock' has such little cinematic presence aside from his obviously impressive body. So with Tatum out of the picture & no investment in the characters, this poorly balanced, overly expository, by-the-book actioner just kind of blew past me without effect. There's an audience out there for this movie. People seem to love stupid, vapid, actioners like this, though, I'll never understand why. Dumb fun can be fun. This movie lacks the fun.
Zartan's 1st goal after taking over America is to send out a kill team led by Firefly (Ray Stevenson) to murder Duke (Channing Tatum), Roadblock (too self-serious Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Flint (D.J. Cotrona), & the rest of the 'Joes'. Tragedy strikes, but the surviving Joes return to the U.S. to seek out the "original Joe" ... Gen. Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) & co-opt his aid. Zartan turns his attention (temporarily) from killing the Joes to global disarmament. Meanwhile, Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) successfully executes his mission of freeing Cobra Commander from his underground prison. Mayhem ensues.
How is it that dumb, dumb, DUMB screenplays for movies like this actually come to fruition. Now, I expect a 'certain' degree of stupidity to go along with the exorbitant amount of CGI effects & explosions that films of this ilk offer. It kinda goes with the territory. It can even be welcome when you're looking for a 2 hour escape from the world. Unfortunately, the overall quality of 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' is so poor that it is nearly impossible to excuse. The script, the dialogue, the cardboard characters, et al ... seems to have been written for kids. The enormous world-saving stuff is convoluted. The spectacle on display feels empty.
The only reason I'm giving this film a D+ and not an F is because there are a few humorous one-liners and one sequence that warrants mention. It is the rock climbing ninja fight on a mountaintop. There's some real ingenuity in how the fight/chase is accomplished. I guess I could also mention the special effects work in the demolition of London sequence. But that plotline is so irritating that it pretty much negates, for me, the CGI accomplishment. But for the rest of the "action" (you know, guns, violence, running, brutality, pyrotechnics, deaths) ... it is all so joyless & devoid of tension. Why? Because little-to-no attention is given to the characters. We don't really care if they're in danger or not. Everything in 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' is perfunctory & soulless.
I wasn't excited. It's tiring to watch action sequences that never seem to end. As with the '09 film, I was mostly bored. Capitalizing on Channing Tatum's recent box office stardom, the filmmakers delayed the release of this movie so that they could re-shoot and add/expand scenes with him in them (adding about 10 minutes, apparently). These scenes are evident because they come across as unrelated filler to the narrative and his character is not well-treated by 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation', if you get my drift. He disappears after the 20 minute mark for good. And so, when you have 2 stars such as Dwayne Johnson (who is a charisma cipher) & Channing Tatum (who is only slightly better), and you get rid of one ... then chances are that the movie will tank.
Like Tatum, Dwayne Johnson is quite likeable in commercials, interviews, talk shows. They're congenial guys. And with the right roles, they're fine. But 'The Rock' has such little cinematic presence aside from his obviously impressive body. So with Tatum out of the picture & no investment in the characters, this poorly balanced, overly expository, by-the-book actioner just kind of blew past me without effect. There's an audience out there for this movie. People seem to love stupid, vapid, actioners like this, though, I'll never understand why. Dumb fun can be fun. This movie lacks the fun.