Along Came Polly (D or 1/4 stars)
One of the worst movies I've seen in 2004 is writer/director John Hamburg's 2004 supposed romantic comedy, 'Along Came Polly'; which has a decent cast, but wallows in crude, crass humor, a boring storyline, & exhibits zero romantic chemistry btwn. its two leads. Ben Stiller stars as Reuben Feffer, a risk assessor for a prominent NY insurance firm led by Stan Indursky (Alec Baldwin). For Reuben, many years of bachelorhood have ended when he marries realtor, Lisa Kramer (a bland Debra Messing). But the marriage is over before it begins. One day into the honeymoon, Reuben finds his new wife, ahem, messing {pun intended} around with her odious, perpetually nude scuba instructor, Claude (Hank Azaria, a comedic highlight for this film; replete with a humorously over-the-top French accent).
Highly distraught, he dejectedly returns home to assess where it all went wrong. On the good advice of his best buddy/former movie actor, Sandy Lyle (Philip Seymour Hoffman, what are you DOING in this movie!?), he attends a party, where he meets & hooks up with one, Polly Prince (Aniston), a neurotic, free-spirited, mess who he has not seen since junior high. For purposes of this threadbare plot, they are attracted to each other, but their completely opposite personalities (he is grounded & fussy; she is flighty & afraid of commitment) makes them as suitable for each other as oil & water.
I'd like to say that this movie was, at least, a hit & miss affair - but that would be too kind. The jokes are sparse, to say the least. The gags are in typically bad-taste. And as mentioned, there is no romance to be found. The script for this film basically recycles lame obscene jokes & graceless, crude gags from superior gross-out romantic comedies from the past {I'm thinking of There's Something About Mary, as an example - THAT film's sweet, charming, yet laugh-out-loud crudely funny melange worked in spades}. There is no zest or punch or imagination to the 'comedy' on display. So with no consistently good comedy, no central drama, no element of surprise, & no sexual chemistry btwn. the leads, I was always gonna struggle to be entertained.
Watching Stiller & Aniston grovel in a bathroom scene for cheap laughs was pathetic; I'm also reminded of lame sequences involving a basketball player & a towel; a greasy pizza; and a bowel movement scene involving toilet paper & a blind ferret. It is difficult to accept that these two characters could ever truly be in love; any forced happy ending feels flat. Ben Stiller has two modes of acting: ass or dweeb. Both of those acting traits can be loveable when given the right material, but that isn't the case, here. This movie has made me realize that Jennifer Aniston just doesn't do it for me.
I am not the biggest fan of the Friends television show and, nothing Aniston has done in film impresses me much, either. Cameron Diaz created a loveable, funny, yet still enjoyably crude character to root for in There's Something About Mary ... but ya don't root for Aniston. Alec Baldwin & Bryan Brown struggled to bring the funny as a Jewish playboy businessman & an uninsurable Australian daredevil. As mentioned, Hank Azaria is the only actor to make an impression on me. Now, there ARE a few moments in scenes that elicit a chuckle or acknowledgement of a genuine moment where characters feel like real human beings. But on the whole, 'Along Came Polly' just made me angry -- angry that I wasted time & $$ on it.
Highly distraught, he dejectedly returns home to assess where it all went wrong. On the good advice of his best buddy/former movie actor, Sandy Lyle (Philip Seymour Hoffman, what are you DOING in this movie!?), he attends a party, where he meets & hooks up with one, Polly Prince (Aniston), a neurotic, free-spirited, mess who he has not seen since junior high. For purposes of this threadbare plot, they are attracted to each other, but their completely opposite personalities (he is grounded & fussy; she is flighty & afraid of commitment) makes them as suitable for each other as oil & water.
I'd like to say that this movie was, at least, a hit & miss affair - but that would be too kind. The jokes are sparse, to say the least. The gags are in typically bad-taste. And as mentioned, there is no romance to be found. The script for this film basically recycles lame obscene jokes & graceless, crude gags from superior gross-out romantic comedies from the past {I'm thinking of There's Something About Mary, as an example - THAT film's sweet, charming, yet laugh-out-loud crudely funny melange worked in spades}. There is no zest or punch or imagination to the 'comedy' on display. So with no consistently good comedy, no central drama, no element of surprise, & no sexual chemistry btwn. the leads, I was always gonna struggle to be entertained.
Watching Stiller & Aniston grovel in a bathroom scene for cheap laughs was pathetic; I'm also reminded of lame sequences involving a basketball player & a towel; a greasy pizza; and a bowel movement scene involving toilet paper & a blind ferret. It is difficult to accept that these two characters could ever truly be in love; any forced happy ending feels flat. Ben Stiller has two modes of acting: ass or dweeb. Both of those acting traits can be loveable when given the right material, but that isn't the case, here. This movie has made me realize that Jennifer Aniston just doesn't do it for me.
I am not the biggest fan of the Friends television show and, nothing Aniston has done in film impresses me much, either. Cameron Diaz created a loveable, funny, yet still enjoyably crude character to root for in There's Something About Mary ... but ya don't root for Aniston. Alec Baldwin & Bryan Brown struggled to bring the funny as a Jewish playboy businessman & an uninsurable Australian daredevil. As mentioned, Hank Azaria is the only actor to make an impression on me. Now, there ARE a few moments in scenes that elicit a chuckle or acknowledgement of a genuine moment where characters feel like real human beings. But on the whole, 'Along Came Polly' just made me angry -- angry that I wasted time & $$ on it.