Rabbit Hole (B+ or 3.5/4 stars)
In 'Rabbit Hole' (directed by John Cameron Mitchell, & based on a play by David Lindsay-Abaire), Becca & Howie (Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart) are trying to recover their everyday suburban existence after having lost their 4 yr. old son, Danny, in a traffic accident some 8 months ago.
For Becca & Howie, the pain of their loss has dulled, but it's still there. And the unexpected pregnancy of Becca's troublesome sister, Izzy (Tammy Blanchard), amplifies the pain even more. Becca lives in denial, plain & simple. Howie believes that she is trying to erase Danny from their lives (taking down pictures from the refrigerator, donating his clothes). She refuses to have sex or consider the possibility of having another child. She stops attending support group; calling God 'sadistic' & disbelieving anyone who says that religion can be comforting. Throughout the course of the film, circumstances lead Becca to find solace in a mysterious friendship with a sad young comic-book artist named Jason (Miles Teller) ... the teen driver of the car who killed her son!
Becca & Jason are emotionally wounded from the incident. And it's Becca's strange & almost-motherly obsession with Jason that helps recede memories of Danny, while Howie immerses himself in the past with those memories. Subsequently, Howie finds solace with Gaby (Sandra Oh), a woman who attends the same grief support group he goes to. Howie is through more stages of grief than Becca, but still suffers from his own agitations & depression. Becca's own mother, Nat (Dianne Weist), knows grief, as well; as she lost her 30 yr. old son (and Becca's own brother). Mother & daughter clash on how to cope with the loss of a child. But Nat is quick to point out to Becca that - like everything else - time heals all wounds. Both adrift in their own guilt, denials, & miseries ... can Becca & Howie weather the storm and come out of this tenuous grief period as the strong couple they once were?
Now, you may be thinking, 'great, another downer movie about grief, losing a child, & coping -- that's not entertainment'. The difference here is: there is almost no melodrama, the acting is superb, & there's actually enough low-key humor to release the pent-up tension inherent in a film like this. Most importantly, 'Rabbit Hole' feels incredible authentic. When someone yells (not often), I felt it. When someone cries, I cried. There's no manipulation. That's not to say there aren't difficult, painful scenes here & there. But the rawness of the performances on display from Kidman, Eckhart, & Weist simply rivet. Having a child is one of the biggest events a married couple will experience their entire lives. So losing that child creates a black hole in part of the foundation from which said marriage exists/thrives. Together, parents raise, nurture, talk about their child, do things with him, etc.. When the child is gone, a new part of them is, too.
It's not as if Becca & Howie could just return to how they were pre-children. It doesn't work that way. And though they try to retrieve those feelings again, it doesn't always work. i.e., a back massage - whether to make the spouse feel comfortable OR to initiate foreplay - is seen as unnecessary & bothersome for the spouse; whereas they would have LOVED the back massage years ago. Massage means sex, sex means emotion, & Becca has none. In public, Becca tries to tolerate the fact that Danny is gone. Howie tries, too. But in the small, quiet moments of life when they're alone together, that tolerance goes out the window.
Nicole Kidman gives a wonderfully lived-in performance as the emotionally brittle Becca; a woman who doesn't realize she's destroying her family. Kidman imparts heartache, humor, as well as intensity; the kind that make us sit up & observe every single movement she makes, & all that she says. The way she gazes out at life through her pain is penetrable. Aaron Eckhart is also incredibly effective, in a completely different way. His anger is different, his sadness is different. And there's a scene with a dog near the end that nearly killed me {tissues, please}. Dianne Weist is great; when isn't she? As Nat, Weist provides her own heartache, humor, & pathos. And newcomer Miles Teller is amazing as Jason. Scenes btwn. he & Kidman also sprang leaks in my tear ducts {I know, no way}.
'Rabbit Hole' is sad by nature; but there is also an uplift to be had (however subtle). And there's humor; observant & incisive of human nature (in light of all the grimness). The film is also poignant & brilliantly acted. And there are no frills; nor does the story need them. If you're looking for action, or a raucous comedy, don't look here. No, what 'RH' shows us - with great sensitivity & verisimilitude - is how losing a child can make your everyday life a torturous emotional chore to get through. And marriage repair can really only happen when both parties come to an understanding at HOW to grow from it. Everyone reaches their breaking point. But if couples like Becca & Howie can find their loopholes to tolerance, & remember the love they once head ... maybe they'll make it. Maybe.
For Becca & Howie, the pain of their loss has dulled, but it's still there. And the unexpected pregnancy of Becca's troublesome sister, Izzy (Tammy Blanchard), amplifies the pain even more. Becca lives in denial, plain & simple. Howie believes that she is trying to erase Danny from their lives (taking down pictures from the refrigerator, donating his clothes). She refuses to have sex or consider the possibility of having another child. She stops attending support group; calling God 'sadistic' & disbelieving anyone who says that religion can be comforting. Throughout the course of the film, circumstances lead Becca to find solace in a mysterious friendship with a sad young comic-book artist named Jason (Miles Teller) ... the teen driver of the car who killed her son!
Becca & Jason are emotionally wounded from the incident. And it's Becca's strange & almost-motherly obsession with Jason that helps recede memories of Danny, while Howie immerses himself in the past with those memories. Subsequently, Howie finds solace with Gaby (Sandra Oh), a woman who attends the same grief support group he goes to. Howie is through more stages of grief than Becca, but still suffers from his own agitations & depression. Becca's own mother, Nat (Dianne Weist), knows grief, as well; as she lost her 30 yr. old son (and Becca's own brother). Mother & daughter clash on how to cope with the loss of a child. But Nat is quick to point out to Becca that - like everything else - time heals all wounds. Both adrift in their own guilt, denials, & miseries ... can Becca & Howie weather the storm and come out of this tenuous grief period as the strong couple they once were?
Now, you may be thinking, 'great, another downer movie about grief, losing a child, & coping -- that's not entertainment'. The difference here is: there is almost no melodrama, the acting is superb, & there's actually enough low-key humor to release the pent-up tension inherent in a film like this. Most importantly, 'Rabbit Hole' feels incredible authentic. When someone yells (not often), I felt it. When someone cries, I cried. There's no manipulation. That's not to say there aren't difficult, painful scenes here & there. But the rawness of the performances on display from Kidman, Eckhart, & Weist simply rivet. Having a child is one of the biggest events a married couple will experience their entire lives. So losing that child creates a black hole in part of the foundation from which said marriage exists/thrives. Together, parents raise, nurture, talk about their child, do things with him, etc.. When the child is gone, a new part of them is, too.
It's not as if Becca & Howie could just return to how they were pre-children. It doesn't work that way. And though they try to retrieve those feelings again, it doesn't always work. i.e., a back massage - whether to make the spouse feel comfortable OR to initiate foreplay - is seen as unnecessary & bothersome for the spouse; whereas they would have LOVED the back massage years ago. Massage means sex, sex means emotion, & Becca has none. In public, Becca tries to tolerate the fact that Danny is gone. Howie tries, too. But in the small, quiet moments of life when they're alone together, that tolerance goes out the window.
Nicole Kidman gives a wonderfully lived-in performance as the emotionally brittle Becca; a woman who doesn't realize she's destroying her family. Kidman imparts heartache, humor, as well as intensity; the kind that make us sit up & observe every single movement she makes, & all that she says. The way she gazes out at life through her pain is penetrable. Aaron Eckhart is also incredibly effective, in a completely different way. His anger is different, his sadness is different. And there's a scene with a dog near the end that nearly killed me {tissues, please}. Dianne Weist is great; when isn't she? As Nat, Weist provides her own heartache, humor, & pathos. And newcomer Miles Teller is amazing as Jason. Scenes btwn. he & Kidman also sprang leaks in my tear ducts {I know, no way}.
'Rabbit Hole' is sad by nature; but there is also an uplift to be had (however subtle). And there's humor; observant & incisive of human nature (in light of all the grimness). The film is also poignant & brilliantly acted. And there are no frills; nor does the story need them. If you're looking for action, or a raucous comedy, don't look here. No, what 'RH' shows us - with great sensitivity & verisimilitude - is how losing a child can make your everyday life a torturous emotional chore to get through. And marriage repair can really only happen when both parties come to an understanding at HOW to grow from it. Everyone reaches their breaking point. But if couples like Becca & Howie can find their loopholes to tolerance, & remember the love they once head ... maybe they'll make it. Maybe.