Lady in the Water (C- or 2/4 stars)
So, I wasted (probably) $6.75 of gasoline, $6.75 on a movie ticket, and more than $10 on food and drinks to view this contemporary fairy tale from Hell. That's right, I'm talking about M. Night Shyamalan's latest cinematic mess, 'Lady In The Water'. I thoroughly enjoyed Shyamalan's first effort, The Sixth Sense. I bypassed Unbreakable; I thought Signs was decent; and The Village could have been better. But I still didn't go into this movie thinking I'd be disappointed. Shyamalan is confident in his capabilities as an actor & a director, and he can actually back-up his ego with very original ideas for movies; I truly appreciate this. But this movie has now makes me think what a lot of people have been thinking for a while ... is he a one-movie phenomenon?
Cleveland Heap (Paul Giamatti) is the super of an apartment complex that seems to house some rather odd folk. Bob Balaban is Harry, a stoic film critic; Jeffrey Wright is Mr. Dury, he solves crossword puzzles; Shyamalan & Sarita Choudhury are Vick and Anna, brother & sister. Vick has written 'The Cookbook', though it has nothing to do with cooking & everything to do with the future of society (I know, duh). Freddy Rodriguez is Reggie, a man who exercises one half of his body so that he looks lop-sided. Some pot-smoking philosophers reside at apt.13A. Bill Irwin is Mr. Leeds, the resident hermit. And Young-Soon (Cindy Cheung) is an eccentric student who speaks English with a shrill accent. They all having something going on.
One night, Cleveland slips & slides upon a mysterious woman named, Story (Bryce Dallas Howard). She is a mystical sea nymph, or Narf. Her mission on Earth is to instill inspiration in those who need it most. Nice concept, right? She has come to Earth via Cleveland's swimming pool & desperately seeks to get back to her 'Blue World' before the ominous Scrunt (a wolf-like creature) kills her. Of course, it is Cleveland and his wacko residents who must figure out how to prevent the Scrunt from killing her before the 'Great Eatlon' (a huge eagle) can descend, scoop her up, & retrieve her to her Blue World where she will be heralded as Madam Narf (a queen of sorts). I can't believe I'm actually typing this ... am I in a dream-state right now? How ridiculous is this? And how ridiculous that Shyamalan's vision made it to the big screen & stars accomplished actors? And it's taken SERIOUSLY!
While I can say that Shyamalan is as original as, say, Tolkien & C.S. Lewis, I can 'also' say that his movies are getting a reputation of sucking. This is a strange movie; & Shyamalan tries to make us think it's utterly meaningful. Upon viewing (which I don't suggest), be patient, focus, & try not to shake your head at the absurdity. Oh, & don't forget to watch out for the deadly 'tartutic' creatures. Don't blink or you'll miss them & all the horror they're supposed to induce. They, along with the Scrunt (and this story) are silly. And too many characters who say little or nothing at all clog up the screen. Shyamalan, as Vick, is decent. But I kept looking at him as a director & an actor ... not 'Vick'. Cameos in your own films is cool. But it takes the focus off of what is important, as well.
I love a dark fairy tale (i.e. Sleepy Hollow), but this completely misses the mark with me. Shyamalan's twists & creepy moments are far too subtle and uninteresting. 'Lady In The Water' lacks a real climactic 'ohhh, that's really cool' moment, which is present in some of his other works. And then suddenly, the credits roll. The cinematography is there, the quirky cast is there, and some genuine (intended) humorous moments bring some much needed smiles. But, M. Night Shyamalan's bedtime story doesn't inspire, enchant, or spook; it does what most bedtime stories are meant to do ... provoke me to slumber. 'Tis a pity I didn't. I could have used the sleep.
Cleveland Heap (Paul Giamatti) is the super of an apartment complex that seems to house some rather odd folk. Bob Balaban is Harry, a stoic film critic; Jeffrey Wright is Mr. Dury, he solves crossword puzzles; Shyamalan & Sarita Choudhury are Vick and Anna, brother & sister. Vick has written 'The Cookbook', though it has nothing to do with cooking & everything to do with the future of society (I know, duh). Freddy Rodriguez is Reggie, a man who exercises one half of his body so that he looks lop-sided. Some pot-smoking philosophers reside at apt.13A. Bill Irwin is Mr. Leeds, the resident hermit. And Young-Soon (Cindy Cheung) is an eccentric student who speaks English with a shrill accent. They all having something going on.
One night, Cleveland slips & slides upon a mysterious woman named, Story (Bryce Dallas Howard). She is a mystical sea nymph, or Narf. Her mission on Earth is to instill inspiration in those who need it most. Nice concept, right? She has come to Earth via Cleveland's swimming pool & desperately seeks to get back to her 'Blue World' before the ominous Scrunt (a wolf-like creature) kills her. Of course, it is Cleveland and his wacko residents who must figure out how to prevent the Scrunt from killing her before the 'Great Eatlon' (a huge eagle) can descend, scoop her up, & retrieve her to her Blue World where she will be heralded as Madam Narf (a queen of sorts). I can't believe I'm actually typing this ... am I in a dream-state right now? How ridiculous is this? And how ridiculous that Shyamalan's vision made it to the big screen & stars accomplished actors? And it's taken SERIOUSLY!
While I can say that Shyamalan is as original as, say, Tolkien & C.S. Lewis, I can 'also' say that his movies are getting a reputation of sucking. This is a strange movie; & Shyamalan tries to make us think it's utterly meaningful. Upon viewing (which I don't suggest), be patient, focus, & try not to shake your head at the absurdity. Oh, & don't forget to watch out for the deadly 'tartutic' creatures. Don't blink or you'll miss them & all the horror they're supposed to induce. They, along with the Scrunt (and this story) are silly. And too many characters who say little or nothing at all clog up the screen. Shyamalan, as Vick, is decent. But I kept looking at him as a director & an actor ... not 'Vick'. Cameos in your own films is cool. But it takes the focus off of what is important, as well.
I love a dark fairy tale (i.e. Sleepy Hollow), but this completely misses the mark with me. Shyamalan's twists & creepy moments are far too subtle and uninteresting. 'Lady In The Water' lacks a real climactic 'ohhh, that's really cool' moment, which is present in some of his other works. And then suddenly, the credits roll. The cinematography is there, the quirky cast is there, and some genuine (intended) humorous moments bring some much needed smiles. But, M. Night Shyamalan's bedtime story doesn't inspire, enchant, or spook; it does what most bedtime stories are meant to do ... provoke me to slumber. 'Tis a pity I didn't. I could have used the sleep.