Geostorm (D- or .5/4 stars)
'Geostorm' is one of those global superstorm disaster flicks {not unlike 2004's The Day After Tomorrow}. This flick also happens to star an actor who tends to be in films of this ilk ... Gerard Butler. Is it any good? Is it a fun Armageddon type? Is it like its long-ago disaster movie predecessors: Airport, The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake or The Towering Inferno? In short: the answer is NO. Set in the 2020s, countries of the world have banded together to fight the catastrophic effects of climate change. To this, there's now an international satellite system (named 'Dutch Boy') to actually control the weather. Although said satellite was designed by hotshot genius scientist Jake Lawson (Butler), his arrogance & short fuse have led to his firing, leaving his estranged younger brother, Max (Jim Sturgess), a State Dept. official, in charge of matters until oversight is turned over to a global coalition.
But then something goes horrifically wrong {shocker!!!}. A village in Afghanistan is suddenly frozen, along with a beach in Rio, Brazil {watching civilians desperately try to outrun the frost is relatively entertaining}. Extreme heat sets Hong Kong ablaze. A tsunami inundates Dubai. Lightning storms strike Orlando, Florida. And when investigators on the space station try to discover the cause of the malfunction, well, they're killed soon after. When a doom-laden Geostorm seems inescapable, Jake is sent off to fix 'Dutch Boy'. Meanwhile, over in Washington D.C., Max & his Secret Service agent girlfriend, Sarah Wilson (Abbie Cornish), deal with a grand sabotage conspiracy involving the Sec. of State (Ed Harris, what are you DOING in this!?) & the President (Andy Garcia). Mass destruction ensues.
What a bore. What a mess. When one buys a ticket for a disaster flick like this one, one knows that they're in for a whole lotta suspension-of-disbelief. Fine. What one shouldn't expect is a sloppy, turgid drama to accompany the CGI pyrotechnics. As for the CGI, well, brainless disaster flick junkies might get their fix of Rio, Afghanistan, Hong Kong, Moscow, Orlando & other major cities getting destroyed by insane weather powers. That said, I don't think the effects were particularly great AND, there's not nearly enough of them in the film! How can you have a movie titled 'Geostorm' and barely showcase the storm(s)!?!?
Gerard Butler has also become a little bit of a joke now; what with the type of films he's starring in. Looking for a pay check, he ALWAYS seems to be in these types of films. They all stink. He's not particularly great in them. And his charisma has waned over time. Dare I say he's entering the woeful Nicolas Cage territory? It's not even funny. As for the other actors, Jim Sturgess, Alexandra Maria Lara {a stellar German actress} & Abbie Cornish {in the Academy Award contending Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri} round out the cast; but none get the chance to sing, acting-wise.
Other than the opening sequence and 'some' of those over-the-top Geostorm sequences where everyone is running for their lives, or a plane comes cascading down out of the sky ... next-to-nothing in this movie kept my interest. The actors didn't -- they couldn't make something out of their nothing characterizations. The story didn't. The exposition of what the heck is going on in the script is clumsy. There are contrivances galore {keep your eyes in your head instead of rolling out}. Any brotherly drama btwn. Butler & Sturgess is ineffective. I didn't care about anything or anyone. And this movie even misses the chance to say anything relevant & topical given that our world has recently faced such real disasters as those hurricanes, floods & wildfires. Ultimately, 'Geostorm' is just big, dumb & boring. I still can't BELIEVE how little of the actual CGI-heavy disasters {tornadoes, tidal waves, lightning strikes, etc} we actually get to see.
But then something goes horrifically wrong {shocker!!!}. A village in Afghanistan is suddenly frozen, along with a beach in Rio, Brazil {watching civilians desperately try to outrun the frost is relatively entertaining}. Extreme heat sets Hong Kong ablaze. A tsunami inundates Dubai. Lightning storms strike Orlando, Florida. And when investigators on the space station try to discover the cause of the malfunction, well, they're killed soon after. When a doom-laden Geostorm seems inescapable, Jake is sent off to fix 'Dutch Boy'. Meanwhile, over in Washington D.C., Max & his Secret Service agent girlfriend, Sarah Wilson (Abbie Cornish), deal with a grand sabotage conspiracy involving the Sec. of State (Ed Harris, what are you DOING in this!?) & the President (Andy Garcia). Mass destruction ensues.
What a bore. What a mess. When one buys a ticket for a disaster flick like this one, one knows that they're in for a whole lotta suspension-of-disbelief. Fine. What one shouldn't expect is a sloppy, turgid drama to accompany the CGI pyrotechnics. As for the CGI, well, brainless disaster flick junkies might get their fix of Rio, Afghanistan, Hong Kong, Moscow, Orlando & other major cities getting destroyed by insane weather powers. That said, I don't think the effects were particularly great AND, there's not nearly enough of them in the film! How can you have a movie titled 'Geostorm' and barely showcase the storm(s)!?!?
Gerard Butler has also become a little bit of a joke now; what with the type of films he's starring in. Looking for a pay check, he ALWAYS seems to be in these types of films. They all stink. He's not particularly great in them. And his charisma has waned over time. Dare I say he's entering the woeful Nicolas Cage territory? It's not even funny. As for the other actors, Jim Sturgess, Alexandra Maria Lara {a stellar German actress} & Abbie Cornish {in the Academy Award contending Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri} round out the cast; but none get the chance to sing, acting-wise.
Other than the opening sequence and 'some' of those over-the-top Geostorm sequences where everyone is running for their lives, or a plane comes cascading down out of the sky ... next-to-nothing in this movie kept my interest. The actors didn't -- they couldn't make something out of their nothing characterizations. The story didn't. The exposition of what the heck is going on in the script is clumsy. There are contrivances galore {keep your eyes in your head instead of rolling out}. Any brotherly drama btwn. Butler & Sturgess is ineffective. I didn't care about anything or anyone. And this movie even misses the chance to say anything relevant & topical given that our world has recently faced such real disasters as those hurricanes, floods & wildfires. Ultimately, 'Geostorm' is just big, dumb & boring. I still can't BELIEVE how little of the actual CGI-heavy disasters {tornadoes, tidal waves, lightning strikes, etc} we actually get to see.