Killers (D or 1/4 stars)
'Killers' (directed by Robert Luketic) is a "romantic comedy" (or so it thinks) starring Katherine Heigl (of course) & Ashton Kutcher (whatever). Spencer Aimes (Kutcher) is a handsome, undercover, government-hired assassin who's used to a life of exotic locales, sports cars, & sexy women. But when he sees Jen Jornfeldt (Heigl), a beautiful, blonde, fun-lovin' girl who's in the French Riviera on a vacay with her parents (recovering from a bad break-up), he thinks he's found the love of his life; willing to give up his assassin lifestyle to become a married man. The plot picks up 3 yrs. later when Jen & Spence are living a perfect domestic life. However, on the morning after Spence's 30th birthday, they learn that he is the target of a multi-million dollar hit!
Spence never bothered to tell her that he was a super-spy. She's freaking out. Worse yet, the hired killers have been stalking him (& Jen) for years. And ... they could be anyone - friends, family, neighbors, store clerks, etc.. For the rest of the movie, Jen & Spence go on a run for their lives. People are dying left & right. Jen becomes more & more paranoid as they dodge more & more foes (and bullets). Spence tries to calm her down; all the while, desperate to keep them alive, & find out WHO is trying to kill them, & why. Jen isn't sure she can trust Spence ever again. Can their marriage survive? Do his in-laws (Tom Selleck, Catherine O'Hara) have anything to do with their strife? What's going on?!!? And - for my part - who cares?
I actually mildly enjoyed the first 20-30 min. of 'Killers'. I was shocked. The movie rolled along & nothing was aggravating me. Well ... that all changes soon enough. Bottom line is: the movie is a nothing. It starts as something, but becomes a nothing. The chemistry btwn. Heigl & Kutcher comes across as brotherly-sisterly. There is no romance on display. And there is very little humor in the script, as well. Any intendedly humorous plot points don't come across as funny in execution - at all. In other words, if you go to this movie hoping for some laughs, you can absolutely forget it.
I've said this many a time before about Katherine Heigl. I don't know why I am not wild about her, but I'm not. Maybe it's her real-life persona that I can't shake. She's a very pretty woman; & she always plays relatable roles. But the only movie I've enjoyed her in was Knocked Up. And Ashton Kutcher? Well, he's just a non-entity. Sure, he's a great-looking guy. But he has no charisma of note. And I find him pompous, at times. Tom Selleck is pretty stellar as Jen's father. And Catherine O'Hara is completely & utterly wasted as Jen's perpetually drunk mom. It's really a stupid, stupid character to have in -- well, any movie. Overall, 'Killers' suffers from familiarity (we've seen MANY movies like this), but it also suffers from being a bland, witless, nothing of a motion picture.
Spence never bothered to tell her that he was a super-spy. She's freaking out. Worse yet, the hired killers have been stalking him (& Jen) for years. And ... they could be anyone - friends, family, neighbors, store clerks, etc.. For the rest of the movie, Jen & Spence go on a run for their lives. People are dying left & right. Jen becomes more & more paranoid as they dodge more & more foes (and bullets). Spence tries to calm her down; all the while, desperate to keep them alive, & find out WHO is trying to kill them, & why. Jen isn't sure she can trust Spence ever again. Can their marriage survive? Do his in-laws (Tom Selleck, Catherine O'Hara) have anything to do with their strife? What's going on?!!? And - for my part - who cares?
I actually mildly enjoyed the first 20-30 min. of 'Killers'. I was shocked. The movie rolled along & nothing was aggravating me. Well ... that all changes soon enough. Bottom line is: the movie is a nothing. It starts as something, but becomes a nothing. The chemistry btwn. Heigl & Kutcher comes across as brotherly-sisterly. There is no romance on display. And there is very little humor in the script, as well. Any intendedly humorous plot points don't come across as funny in execution - at all. In other words, if you go to this movie hoping for some laughs, you can absolutely forget it.
I've said this many a time before about Katherine Heigl. I don't know why I am not wild about her, but I'm not. Maybe it's her real-life persona that I can't shake. She's a very pretty woman; & she always plays relatable roles. But the only movie I've enjoyed her in was Knocked Up. And Ashton Kutcher? Well, he's just a non-entity. Sure, he's a great-looking guy. But he has no charisma of note. And I find him pompous, at times. Tom Selleck is pretty stellar as Jen's father. And Catherine O'Hara is completely & utterly wasted as Jen's perpetually drunk mom. It's really a stupid, stupid character to have in -- well, any movie. Overall, 'Killers' suffers from familiarity (we've seen MANY movies like this), but it also suffers from being a bland, witless, nothing of a motion picture.