Coffee & Kareem (F or 0/4 stars)
What crap. What utter, humorless garbage. That is how I feel about 'Coffee & Kareem' (an action/comedy directed by Michael Dowse & written by Shane Mack). While James Coffee (Ed Helms), a bumbling, blundering Detroit cop - and laughingstock of his precinct - enjoys his new relationship with Vanessa Manning (Taraji P. Henson), her vile, incorrigible & disgusting 12 yr. old son, Kareem (Terrence Little Gardenhigh) plots their break-up. An odious rap wannabe, Kareem swears outrageously, talks a big game about gangs, violence, sex, & HATES James Coffee to the core -- nice, huh?
When Kareem visits notorious criminal, Orlando Johnson (RonReaco Lee), hoping to have him scare off his mom's boyfriend, our 12 yr. old heathen is an unexpected witness to a murder; one that he films on his cell phone. Now the target of a bloodthirsty gang of drug dealers, corrupt police officers & savage killers, Kareem's only hope to protect his mom and make it out alive himself is the very man he wanted out of his life ... Coffee.
With a tired buddy/cop premise, repellent characters, politically incorrect jokes, hackneyed plot points, harsh violence & continuous witless profanity, this movie is a prime example of when low-brow comedy hits the skids right from the get-go & never recovers. Ed Helms relishes his role as an inept bonehead, but he never made me laugh {and he tends to}. Ditto Taraji P. Henson, who de-based herself by being in this crud. Everyone in this film is stupid, jerky, irritating and/or incompetent. And it became really tiresome watching Helms & nasty young Terrence Little Gardenhigh strive aimlessly for jokes to land -- yet never do.
Everybody & everything in this film is exaggerated to the hilt. i.e., characters yell instead of speaking normally; one four-letter curse word isn't enough, throw 15 of them into one run-on sentence; victims are riddled with bullets instead of having just a few do the job; vicious fight sequences go on forevvvver. And this is all meant to be funny -- nothing is. i.e., at one point, Kareem accuses a parental figure of sexual abuse; atrociously unfunny & just plain 'wrong'. I'd like to say that having a 12 yr. old boy frequently be in danger is another bad point of this film, but I loathed him so much that I frankly didn't care what happened to the noxious brat.
I kinda sorta liked Betty Gilpin as a depraved, unhinged cop. But she's not nearly good enough to raise the dire quality of this 'comedy' from the gutter. Finally, just who is this film aimed for? It's far too profane for kids & far too dim-witted for any self-respecting adult viewer. Simply put, 'Coffee & Kareem' is offensive, crass, woefully slapdash & vehemently unfunny. It's a waste of 81 minutes and avoid, if you can. Literally nothing works.
When Kareem visits notorious criminal, Orlando Johnson (RonReaco Lee), hoping to have him scare off his mom's boyfriend, our 12 yr. old heathen is an unexpected witness to a murder; one that he films on his cell phone. Now the target of a bloodthirsty gang of drug dealers, corrupt police officers & savage killers, Kareem's only hope to protect his mom and make it out alive himself is the very man he wanted out of his life ... Coffee.
With a tired buddy/cop premise, repellent characters, politically incorrect jokes, hackneyed plot points, harsh violence & continuous witless profanity, this movie is a prime example of when low-brow comedy hits the skids right from the get-go & never recovers. Ed Helms relishes his role as an inept bonehead, but he never made me laugh {and he tends to}. Ditto Taraji P. Henson, who de-based herself by being in this crud. Everyone in this film is stupid, jerky, irritating and/or incompetent. And it became really tiresome watching Helms & nasty young Terrence Little Gardenhigh strive aimlessly for jokes to land -- yet never do.
Everybody & everything in this film is exaggerated to the hilt. i.e., characters yell instead of speaking normally; one four-letter curse word isn't enough, throw 15 of them into one run-on sentence; victims are riddled with bullets instead of having just a few do the job; vicious fight sequences go on forevvvver. And this is all meant to be funny -- nothing is. i.e., at one point, Kareem accuses a parental figure of sexual abuse; atrociously unfunny & just plain 'wrong'. I'd like to say that having a 12 yr. old boy frequently be in danger is another bad point of this film, but I loathed him so much that I frankly didn't care what happened to the noxious brat.
I kinda sorta liked Betty Gilpin as a depraved, unhinged cop. But she's not nearly good enough to raise the dire quality of this 'comedy' from the gutter. Finally, just who is this film aimed for? It's far too profane for kids & far too dim-witted for any self-respecting adult viewer. Simply put, 'Coffee & Kareem' is offensive, crass, woefully slapdash & vehemently unfunny. It's a waste of 81 minutes and avoid, if you can. Literally nothing works.