When in Rome (D- or .5/4 stars)
Ever watch a movie & realize that barnyard animals could conceive of & execute a better plot than the one in the film you're watching? That's how I felt watching 'When in Rome', directed by Mark Steven Johnson. Said plot opens in NYC, where a plucky museum curator Beth (Kristen Bell, of Forgetting Sarah Marshall) is preparing for the biggest exhibition of her career. Disillusioned by love, she dives into her work & is on a roll when she is suddenly greeted with news that her little sister (Alexis Dziena), after a whirlwind romance, is going to be married in Italy in only a few days! Giving final arrangements of her exhibition to her assistant, Beth jets off to Rome for the impromptu wedding, determined to spend only 2 days in Italy. At the reception, she 'meet-cutes' with the Best Man, a good looking, but klutzy reporter named Nick (Josh Duhamel, of Las Vegas), but that's thwarted when Beth sees Nick 'seeming' to flirt with a nearby brunette.
Bereft, Beth slips off her shoes, steps into the water of Rome's reputed 'Fountain of Love', bends down, & defiantly picks up 5 coins from the water (angered at the foolish people who threw them in - believing in love). Unaware of the local legend (anyone who picks up a coin from the fountain will become the object of desire for he/she who deposited it), Beth soon finds herself aggressively pursued & haunted by 4 strangers: a self-admiring model (Dax Sheperd), a sausage king (Danny DeVito), a painter (Will Arnet), & a street magician (John Heder). And after she arrives back in NY, even Nick keeps calling her to ask her out. To Beth, Nick surely must be the owner of the 5th coin. His seeming love for her can't be the real thing, can it? Does the coin belong to Nick, is he under a spell, or does he believe that he's found true love in Beth? Can Beth break the fountain curse, & if so, how? I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what occurs.
I've never seen the TV show Veronica Mars. I'll take people's word that Kristen Bell was excellent on it. But I only found her to be okay/fine in Forgetting Sarah Marshall AS Sarah Marshall because the movie really isn't about her, & the excellent writing overshadowed her blandness. Ever since, she still has yet to do anything for me. Is she cute? Absolutely. She's adorable. But that does not make for a stellar leading woman. I can't stand Katherine Heigl or most of her movies, but she does have that certain, relatable something that lures people to the theaters. I see it. Bell has not been given the material to shine; and/or she's not performed well enough to make me believe that it could actually happen. Josh Duhamel isn't much better. The only reasons this garbage gets .5 star/D- rating instead of Zero/F is because the 2 actors actually display some degree of chemistry onscreen in the latter stages of the movie; and a certain restaurant scene made me chuckle.
I couldn't stand any of the secondary characters; cringing whenever they made their all-too-often sudden appearances. And they are not aided, at all, by the brand of 'comedy' on display throughout the film. Not only is the comedy SO obvious, but you can tell that the film think it's hysterical. I hate that. The comedy is all 'set-up'; where you can see the joke coming 10 seconds beforehand. Any attempt at screwball/slapstick falls flat on its face. Now, I know that plots involving magic contains allows for some fantasy, however, in one sequence, Beth chases a runaway poker chip all throughout the Guggenheim 'til it stops at the feet of the man who owns it. I guess that's supposed to be fun, fresh, cool? I found it a boring failure - like most of the film. 'When in Rome' is just an embarrassing movie on all fronts. How do films like this get the green light? It is, at best, mediocre, & at worst, atrocious. 84 minutes long & I couldn't wait for it to be over.
Bereft, Beth slips off her shoes, steps into the water of Rome's reputed 'Fountain of Love', bends down, & defiantly picks up 5 coins from the water (angered at the foolish people who threw them in - believing in love). Unaware of the local legend (anyone who picks up a coin from the fountain will become the object of desire for he/she who deposited it), Beth soon finds herself aggressively pursued & haunted by 4 strangers: a self-admiring model (Dax Sheperd), a sausage king (Danny DeVito), a painter (Will Arnet), & a street magician (John Heder). And after she arrives back in NY, even Nick keeps calling her to ask her out. To Beth, Nick surely must be the owner of the 5th coin. His seeming love for her can't be the real thing, can it? Does the coin belong to Nick, is he under a spell, or does he believe that he's found true love in Beth? Can Beth break the fountain curse, & if so, how? I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what occurs.
I've never seen the TV show Veronica Mars. I'll take people's word that Kristen Bell was excellent on it. But I only found her to be okay/fine in Forgetting Sarah Marshall AS Sarah Marshall because the movie really isn't about her, & the excellent writing overshadowed her blandness. Ever since, she still has yet to do anything for me. Is she cute? Absolutely. She's adorable. But that does not make for a stellar leading woman. I can't stand Katherine Heigl or most of her movies, but she does have that certain, relatable something that lures people to the theaters. I see it. Bell has not been given the material to shine; and/or she's not performed well enough to make me believe that it could actually happen. Josh Duhamel isn't much better. The only reasons this garbage gets .5 star/D- rating instead of Zero/F is because the 2 actors actually display some degree of chemistry onscreen in the latter stages of the movie; and a certain restaurant scene made me chuckle.
I couldn't stand any of the secondary characters; cringing whenever they made their all-too-often sudden appearances. And they are not aided, at all, by the brand of 'comedy' on display throughout the film. Not only is the comedy SO obvious, but you can tell that the film think it's hysterical. I hate that. The comedy is all 'set-up'; where you can see the joke coming 10 seconds beforehand. Any attempt at screwball/slapstick falls flat on its face. Now, I know that plots involving magic contains allows for some fantasy, however, in one sequence, Beth chases a runaway poker chip all throughout the Guggenheim 'til it stops at the feet of the man who owns it. I guess that's supposed to be fun, fresh, cool? I found it a boring failure - like most of the film. 'When in Rome' is just an embarrassing movie on all fronts. How do films like this get the green light? It is, at best, mediocre, & at worst, atrocious. 84 minutes long & I couldn't wait for it to be over.