R.I.P.D. (F or 0/4 stars)
Well, folks. The irony of the title of this movie, R.I.P.D. (Directed by Robert Schwentke), is that it should R.I.P. the sooner the better. I would bet that the movie studio from whence it came even knew it had a stinker on its hands. And with its ridiculous budget, this is just one of the many movies of 2013 that is tarnishing Hollywood with bad word of mouth & negative box office returns. No matter how you look at it, this film is an unmitigated disaster. Too bad; because on paper, the film doesn't sound all that bad: a pair of dead cops - old West lawman Roy (Jeff Bridges) & recently deceased Boston P.D. cop Nick (Ryan Reynolds) - return to Earth as agents for the Rest In Peace Department in different bodies to send people who have cheated death to their final judgments {interesting so far, right?}.
During their preliminary investigations, they learn that a group of these "Deaders," led by Nick's despicable ex-partner, Hayes (Kevin Bacon), are finding & piecing together an ancient gold artifact that, when fully assembled, will allow them to bring dead people back to Earth, hence, triggering the apocalypse. See, already, this synopsis has gone off the deep end. One of the MANY problems with this film is its derivative, lifeless script. The storyline begins as a bad Ghost ripoff; continues as a horrific Men in Black off-shoot; tries to inject some mismatched buddy flick tropes; and ends again with the Ghost component -- due to ridiculous supernatural circumstances, a living wife gets to see her deceased husband for a few moments and they share teary final goodbyes before never seeing each other again. Blech.
The movie tries to be funny, yet I only chuckled once; and it was out of respect to Jeff Bridges. Most viewers will see & feel how hard the movie is straiiiiining to get laughs and, the result is lame. Furthermore, to add insult to injury, the visual effects are insufficient. Dated, too. I felt like I was watching effects from a movie in 1997. In fact, Men in Black - which came out in 1997 - had infinitely superior effects! The "Deader" creature designs are shoddy (one guy reminded me of Austin Power's Fat Bastard). So, not only is the execution of the design poor, but said designs are unoriginal, to boot. The only effect of note is the "freeze frame" effect that occurs at the moment of someone's death (where they wander around their scene of death while time is stopped), but I'm grasping at straws, here.
Buddy flicks thrive on chemistry btwn. its 2 leads and there is almost none, here. Bridges looks like he is having a blast. But we are not. He's trying too hard to be The Dude in Western clothing. Some of his character quirks come across as forced; which dims his natural charisma. And yet, at least he looks like he is 'trying'. Ryan Reynolds just looks so ... bored. I don't know who talked him into doing this film, but it just may be a career stopper in the large wake of Hollywood duds that he's been a part of. Also looking horrified to be in this production is the normally interesting Mary-Louise Parker (an R.I.P.D. boss & Roy's sort-of-love interest). I also felt minimal chemistry btwn. Ryan Reynolds & Stephanie Szostak (who plays his wife). Any success of this film hinges on the emotional payoff btwn. the 2 of them in one of the final scenes & it lands with a thud. We've also got Kevin Bacon onboard in "villain Bacon" mode - scowling & smirking as he goes. I just re-watched Bacon in 2003's Mystic River and, to see the disparity in talent onscreen btwn. that Clint Eastwood classic and this disposable trash is enormous.
You know, one of "comedy" aspects that could have been special is that Roy's Earthly avatar is that of a blond bombshell while Nick's is an old Asian man. That's funny. But the handling of the scenario is botched; unfulfilled. Director Schwentke seems at a loss at how to integrate this effectively into the plot. The comedic potential of that situation just feels poorly realized ... like everything else in the movie. Probably the worst part of 'R.I.P.D.' is that it is B-L-A-N-D. There's no narrative energy. No fun. The script material just lies up on the screen, rotting. My eyes glazed over for 95 endless minutes. And yet, I never looked at my watch because I honestly felt that catching some zzz's would be more beneficial than worrying about how much longer I'd have to sit contorted in my uncomfortable seat.
During their preliminary investigations, they learn that a group of these "Deaders," led by Nick's despicable ex-partner, Hayes (Kevin Bacon), are finding & piecing together an ancient gold artifact that, when fully assembled, will allow them to bring dead people back to Earth, hence, triggering the apocalypse. See, already, this synopsis has gone off the deep end. One of the MANY problems with this film is its derivative, lifeless script. The storyline begins as a bad Ghost ripoff; continues as a horrific Men in Black off-shoot; tries to inject some mismatched buddy flick tropes; and ends again with the Ghost component -- due to ridiculous supernatural circumstances, a living wife gets to see her deceased husband for a few moments and they share teary final goodbyes before never seeing each other again. Blech.
The movie tries to be funny, yet I only chuckled once; and it was out of respect to Jeff Bridges. Most viewers will see & feel how hard the movie is straiiiiining to get laughs and, the result is lame. Furthermore, to add insult to injury, the visual effects are insufficient. Dated, too. I felt like I was watching effects from a movie in 1997. In fact, Men in Black - which came out in 1997 - had infinitely superior effects! The "Deader" creature designs are shoddy (one guy reminded me of Austin Power's Fat Bastard). So, not only is the execution of the design poor, but said designs are unoriginal, to boot. The only effect of note is the "freeze frame" effect that occurs at the moment of someone's death (where they wander around their scene of death while time is stopped), but I'm grasping at straws, here.
Buddy flicks thrive on chemistry btwn. its 2 leads and there is almost none, here. Bridges looks like he is having a blast. But we are not. He's trying too hard to be The Dude in Western clothing. Some of his character quirks come across as forced; which dims his natural charisma. And yet, at least he looks like he is 'trying'. Ryan Reynolds just looks so ... bored. I don't know who talked him into doing this film, but it just may be a career stopper in the large wake of Hollywood duds that he's been a part of. Also looking horrified to be in this production is the normally interesting Mary-Louise Parker (an R.I.P.D. boss & Roy's sort-of-love interest). I also felt minimal chemistry btwn. Ryan Reynolds & Stephanie Szostak (who plays his wife). Any success of this film hinges on the emotional payoff btwn. the 2 of them in one of the final scenes & it lands with a thud. We've also got Kevin Bacon onboard in "villain Bacon" mode - scowling & smirking as he goes. I just re-watched Bacon in 2003's Mystic River and, to see the disparity in talent onscreen btwn. that Clint Eastwood classic and this disposable trash is enormous.
You know, one of "comedy" aspects that could have been special is that Roy's Earthly avatar is that of a blond bombshell while Nick's is an old Asian man. That's funny. But the handling of the scenario is botched; unfulfilled. Director Schwentke seems at a loss at how to integrate this effectively into the plot. The comedic potential of that situation just feels poorly realized ... like everything else in the movie. Probably the worst part of 'R.I.P.D.' is that it is B-L-A-N-D. There's no narrative energy. No fun. The script material just lies up on the screen, rotting. My eyes glazed over for 95 endless minutes. And yet, I never looked at my watch because I honestly felt that catching some zzz's would be more beneficial than worrying about how much longer I'd have to sit contorted in my uncomfortable seat.