Getaway (D- or .5/4 stars)
Time & time again, I hear people say things to me like "Why do you go see BORING historical epics or sad dramas or quirky indie movies or long foreign films when you can watch kick-ass movies like Fast & the Furious or Transformers?" Well guess what, I'll tell you what's BORING ... rahh rahh race car movies like this one, 'The Getaway' (directed by Courtney Solomon). And I mean B-O-R-I-N-G. Cars racing through streets for 90 minutes with absolutely nothing else going on. I'll take me a long, "boring" British melodrama over loud, flat, dull crap like this film ... any day.
So, let me take a stab at a "plot" description for this godawful mess. Former race car driver, Brett Magna (Ethan Hawke), has been recruited by a faceless mastermind (Jon Voight) to complete a host of nefarious missions in order to save his kidnapped wife. Along the journey, Brett is carjacked by a young nameless woman (Selena Gomez), who winds up on the passenger side of his the car for the duration of the film. They fight for a bit before bonding {shocker!!}. The script spends almost no time/energy on dialogue, character depth, or narrative. That said, was ANYONE really, truly looking for those things when they plopped down their $$ to watch this. No. They wanted to see cars going realllllly fast while eluding other cars and crashing ad nauseum. I repeat from before ... BORING.
How anyone could watch this film and think it's not boring, yet call me out for enjoying completely different types of films is beyond me. There's tons of racing, swerving, bashing, ramming, & causing other automobiles to crash ... yay? ALL of this stuff is generic stuff that we've seen in countless other racing genre movies from their heyday, some 20-30 yrs. ago. The movie is loaded with action & violence from beginning to end. All of it signifies nothing. And none of it is logical or interesting, just numbingly frenetic. Chaos with no thrills. There is a 2 minute (or so) sequence where the camera's point-of-view rests on the front grille of a Mustang as the car zips through red lights, cuts corners, & weaves thrillingly through traffic that actually got my pulse going. But yeah, that's about it.
The performances are a nothing. Ethan Hawke is engaging, but pretty much phones it in for a paycheck. We only hear Jon Voight's voice. The other villains make no impression. And Selena Gomez. Well. I saw a glimmer of acting talent from her in 'Spring Breakers'. But she is not effective here, at all. She's supposed to be petulant, look badass, & curse a lot. Big whoop. And her actual thespian skills are non-existent. She's one-note, here.
The only thing preventing an outright F rating from me is that aforementioned 2 min. sequence. The sheer stupidity of the script, the ridiculous motives, the piss-poor performance from Selena Gomez, the bland visuals, the idiocy of the dialogue, the never-ending dullness of the races-that-never-end ... I was SO done well before it concluded. There's no wit (even the Fast & the Furious films has some). And when there is NO invention in the never-ending car chase sequences that litter the screen for 90 minutes ... what are you supposed to do? I choose sleep. In fact, you could take a nice little 30 minute nap in the middle and not have missed a thing.
So, let me take a stab at a "plot" description for this godawful mess. Former race car driver, Brett Magna (Ethan Hawke), has been recruited by a faceless mastermind (Jon Voight) to complete a host of nefarious missions in order to save his kidnapped wife. Along the journey, Brett is carjacked by a young nameless woman (Selena Gomez), who winds up on the passenger side of his the car for the duration of the film. They fight for a bit before bonding {shocker!!}. The script spends almost no time/energy on dialogue, character depth, or narrative. That said, was ANYONE really, truly looking for those things when they plopped down their $$ to watch this. No. They wanted to see cars going realllllly fast while eluding other cars and crashing ad nauseum. I repeat from before ... BORING.
How anyone could watch this film and think it's not boring, yet call me out for enjoying completely different types of films is beyond me. There's tons of racing, swerving, bashing, ramming, & causing other automobiles to crash ... yay? ALL of this stuff is generic stuff that we've seen in countless other racing genre movies from their heyday, some 20-30 yrs. ago. The movie is loaded with action & violence from beginning to end. All of it signifies nothing. And none of it is logical or interesting, just numbingly frenetic. Chaos with no thrills. There is a 2 minute (or so) sequence where the camera's point-of-view rests on the front grille of a Mustang as the car zips through red lights, cuts corners, & weaves thrillingly through traffic that actually got my pulse going. But yeah, that's about it.
The performances are a nothing. Ethan Hawke is engaging, but pretty much phones it in for a paycheck. We only hear Jon Voight's voice. The other villains make no impression. And Selena Gomez. Well. I saw a glimmer of acting talent from her in 'Spring Breakers'. But she is not effective here, at all. She's supposed to be petulant, look badass, & curse a lot. Big whoop. And her actual thespian skills are non-existent. She's one-note, here.
The only thing preventing an outright F rating from me is that aforementioned 2 min. sequence. The sheer stupidity of the script, the ridiculous motives, the piss-poor performance from Selena Gomez, the bland visuals, the idiocy of the dialogue, the never-ending dullness of the races-that-never-end ... I was SO done well before it concluded. There's no wit (even the Fast & the Furious films has some). And when there is NO invention in the never-ending car chase sequences that litter the screen for 90 minutes ... what are you supposed to do? I choose sleep. In fact, you could take a nice little 30 minute nap in the middle and not have missed a thing.