Battle of the Year (D or 1/4 stars)
This is going to be a relatively short, painless review here, people. 'Battle of the Year' (directed by Benson Lee) is pretty horrible. The plot - if you care - revolves around an international dance crew tournament that attracts the best teams from all around the planet. The dramatic thrust: that the Americans haven't won in 15(!) years -- oh, the horror. L.A. Hip Hop mogul Dante Graham (Laz Alonso) wants to put America back on top; and hey, we started this sport, so. Dante enlists his hard-luck pal Jason Blake (Josh Holloway, of the Lost series), who was a championship basketball coach, to coach his American squad.
Charged with the idea that the right coach can make any team a champion, they assemble a 'Dream Team' of sorts; made up of all the best b-boy dancers from across the nation. With only 3 little months until "Battle of the Year", Jason Blake, his star Franklyn (likeable Josh Peck), & his choreographer of breakdance, Stacy (pretty Caity Lotz) use every single tactic they know from their arsenal to get 12 talented, but combustive individuals to come together as a cohesive team if they are going to bring the Dance Trophy back from France to a proud United States. Rah, Rah, Rah.
I just couldn't care. I mean, some of the 'dancing' is okay. The athleticism on display is impressive. The flashy editing is either a success or a detriment depending on your preference of hyperkinetic, headache-inducing 3D camera tricks. There are a few stolen moments of entertainment value (particularly during the climax).
But that's basically all I got. The plot is paper thin, dismal, clunky, and even a bit hokey. Most of the dialogue is howlingly bad. Unintentionally funny, really. R&B/Hip Hop/Rapper Chris Brown (Rihanna's loathsome on again-off again ex) is in this. Blechhh. And yet, probably the worst thing I can say about the film, though, is that it's RELENTLESSLY boring and way too familiar (as far as dance movie tropes are concerned). I say, skip this dreck.
Charged with the idea that the right coach can make any team a champion, they assemble a 'Dream Team' of sorts; made up of all the best b-boy dancers from across the nation. With only 3 little months until "Battle of the Year", Jason Blake, his star Franklyn (likeable Josh Peck), & his choreographer of breakdance, Stacy (pretty Caity Lotz) use every single tactic they know from their arsenal to get 12 talented, but combustive individuals to come together as a cohesive team if they are going to bring the Dance Trophy back from France to a proud United States. Rah, Rah, Rah.
I just couldn't care. I mean, some of the 'dancing' is okay. The athleticism on display is impressive. The flashy editing is either a success or a detriment depending on your preference of hyperkinetic, headache-inducing 3D camera tricks. There are a few stolen moments of entertainment value (particularly during the climax).
But that's basically all I got. The plot is paper thin, dismal, clunky, and even a bit hokey. Most of the dialogue is howlingly bad. Unintentionally funny, really. R&B/Hip Hop/Rapper Chris Brown (Rihanna's loathsome on again-off again ex) is in this. Blechhh. And yet, probably the worst thing I can say about the film, though, is that it's RELENTLESSLY boring and way too familiar (as far as dance movie tropes are concerned). I say, skip this dreck.