Artemis Fowl (D+ or 1.5/4 stars)
Based on Eoin Colfer's best-selling YA book series & directed by Kenneth Branagh, 'Artemis Fowl' is a bit of a big budget, live/action fantasy Disney disaster. Precocious 12 yr. old Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw) lives in a sprawling seaside manor in Northern Ireland with his widowed art & antiques dealer father, Artemis Fowl Sr. (Colin Farrell), & his bodyguard/guardian, Domovoi Butler (Disney Studio regular, Nonso Anozie). When Artemis Sr. ends up disappearing on one of his mysterious trips & named by the media as chief suspect in some high profile museum thefts, Artemis realizes he must find his dad & clear his name.
Opal Koboi (Hong Chau) has kidnapped Artemis' father and our young hero is told that he has just 3 mere days to find a powerful, portal-opening device known as the "Aculos" to exchange for his dad's release. Artemis realizes the only solution is to convene a plethora of mythical beings from a hidden magical world to help. Said place is a high-tech fairy world located deep in the Earth's core, operating under the protection of 803 yr. old Commander Root (Judi Dench ... yes, THE Judi Dench), who enlists Officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell) to find the Aculos. Hoping to use Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad), an oversized dwarf with a compulsion to steal things, our heroes hope to use Mulch to find the Aculos in a race against time to save Artemis Sr..
Originally intended for theatrical release but then moved to the Disney+ streaming in the wake of COVID-19, it's obvious that this movie was designed to kick-off a franchise. Unless it proves to be a streaming hit though, that seems unlikely. This action-packed adaptation is miiiiight entertain kids, but as a standalone film, 'Artemis Fowl' simply doesn't work. I just couldn't care less about what was going on. Maybe that's the adult in me. But I believe that most young audiences will also mentally 'check out'. And from what I understand, this version is condensed from the books; which could further alienate ardent fans. The characterizations are paper-thin. The main character - child Artemis - is off-putting, snotty & condescending.
Lara McDonnell's Holly comes across as just as capable & courageous as Artemis, but without the arrogance; there is no rooting factor for Artemis. The editing is choppy & uneven. Any sense of world-building is weak & lacking a sense of wonder. The plot lacks cohesion and is slight. And yet, the film is somehow still elaborately overstuffed with side characters {pointless intros of fanciful Irish folklore creatures like leprechauns, trolls, dwarfs, goblins & the like} & non-sensical happenstance. Now, I do think Colin Farrell does the best he can with the script. And though Judi Dench plays an odd character, she always brings heft & clout to any role she gets. At best, some of the sets, costumes & special effects are okay. But I am surprised that Kenneth Branagh - who almost always comes through for me - directed such a poor film; one that is not intelligible, engaging or entertaining.
Opal Koboi (Hong Chau) has kidnapped Artemis' father and our young hero is told that he has just 3 mere days to find a powerful, portal-opening device known as the "Aculos" to exchange for his dad's release. Artemis realizes the only solution is to convene a plethora of mythical beings from a hidden magical world to help. Said place is a high-tech fairy world located deep in the Earth's core, operating under the protection of 803 yr. old Commander Root (Judi Dench ... yes, THE Judi Dench), who enlists Officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell) to find the Aculos. Hoping to use Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad), an oversized dwarf with a compulsion to steal things, our heroes hope to use Mulch to find the Aculos in a race against time to save Artemis Sr..
Originally intended for theatrical release but then moved to the Disney+ streaming in the wake of COVID-19, it's obvious that this movie was designed to kick-off a franchise. Unless it proves to be a streaming hit though, that seems unlikely. This action-packed adaptation is miiiiight entertain kids, but as a standalone film, 'Artemis Fowl' simply doesn't work. I just couldn't care less about what was going on. Maybe that's the adult in me. But I believe that most young audiences will also mentally 'check out'. And from what I understand, this version is condensed from the books; which could further alienate ardent fans. The characterizations are paper-thin. The main character - child Artemis - is off-putting, snotty & condescending.
Lara McDonnell's Holly comes across as just as capable & courageous as Artemis, but without the arrogance; there is no rooting factor for Artemis. The editing is choppy & uneven. Any sense of world-building is weak & lacking a sense of wonder. The plot lacks cohesion and is slight. And yet, the film is somehow still elaborately overstuffed with side characters {pointless intros of fanciful Irish folklore creatures like leprechauns, trolls, dwarfs, goblins & the like} & non-sensical happenstance. Now, I do think Colin Farrell does the best he can with the script. And though Judi Dench plays an odd character, she always brings heft & clout to any role she gets. At best, some of the sets, costumes & special effects are okay. But I am surprised that Kenneth Branagh - who almost always comes through for me - directed such a poor film; one that is not intelligible, engaging or entertaining.