Underworld: Blood Wars (D or 1/4 stars)
'Underworld: Blood Wars', directed by Outlander cinematographer Anna Foerster, is the 5th (yes ... 5th!!!) movie in the Vampire vs. Werewolf franchise starring Kate Beckinsale as kick-ass Vampire warrior, Selene. Following a brief & confusing expositional recap of the previous 4 movies, 'U:BW' begins as Selene fends off a litany of Lycan (werewolf) attackers. Selene was betrayed & exiled by the Vampires, but they need her help in battling the Lycans {training purposes, really}. The villainous Lycans, led by Marius (Tobias Mendes), want Selene so she can lead them to her daughter Eve, a pureblood Vampire-Lycan hybrid, to gain access to her all-potent blood. But Selene has hidden her daughter away SO well that even she doesn't know her location.
Selene's #1 ally in all of this is David (Theo James, of the Divergent series & Downton Abbey), who owes his life to her {she extracted a self-propelling bullet from his abdomen ... a RIDICULOUS scene, mind you}. David, by the way, learns of a dark secret about his own bloodline; but it's secondary to the main plot. And so, amid a sea of treachery, with various Vampire factions (including Charles Dance as Thomas, & Lara Pulver as Semira) vying for ultimate power, Selene & David must try to come up with a plan to save the said Vampires from the evil Lycans, but each subsequent plan involves a tonnn of self-sacrifice. Chaos ensues in a climactic and - perhaps, once & for all - FINAL showdown btwn. Vampires & Lycans. Let's hope so.
What. A. Mess.
There is VERY little that I got out of '... Blood Wars' that you could call: positive. Right from the get-go, the expositional recap annoyed me. If you hadn't seen any of the prior films, there's little chance that you'd remotely know what the heck is going on. The cinematography is so dark, dreary & murky that it's a wonder that anyone could stay awake through the proceedings. The sets might be cool, but you can't SEE anything in the laborious black/blue-ness of each scene. The dialogue is HORRENDOUS. Not only is it juvenile & nonsensical, but it then has the audacity to throw in something high-brow, like when Charles Dance talks about "mise-en-scene" -- like ... come on! And the action? Video game-like. Poorly edited. Poorly lit. No clarity. And it is executed with disastrously ineffective CGI.
Mileage will vary on Kate Beckinsale's performance in these Underworld films. One person might find her strong, stylish, believable, & take-charge. One person might find her charisma-free, wooden, & irksome. Theo James is fine; nothing more, nothing less. Charles Dance tries to class-up the joint, but he's really only here for the paycheck. Lara Pulver chews scenery & vamps it up as Semira. But I was also skeeved out by a gross, implied sexual moment btwn. her & another vampire. I miss the campy presence of Bill Nighy & Michael Sheen from other films in this franchise. Listen, folks. There's just NOTHING to get invested in, here. The plot is devoid of tension or excitement. And at 82 min. in length, this film somehow managed to feel both interminable AND like it barely got started before ending.
Selene's #1 ally in all of this is David (Theo James, of the Divergent series & Downton Abbey), who owes his life to her {she extracted a self-propelling bullet from his abdomen ... a RIDICULOUS scene, mind you}. David, by the way, learns of a dark secret about his own bloodline; but it's secondary to the main plot. And so, amid a sea of treachery, with various Vampire factions (including Charles Dance as Thomas, & Lara Pulver as Semira) vying for ultimate power, Selene & David must try to come up with a plan to save the said Vampires from the evil Lycans, but each subsequent plan involves a tonnn of self-sacrifice. Chaos ensues in a climactic and - perhaps, once & for all - FINAL showdown btwn. Vampires & Lycans. Let's hope so.
What. A. Mess.
There is VERY little that I got out of '... Blood Wars' that you could call: positive. Right from the get-go, the expositional recap annoyed me. If you hadn't seen any of the prior films, there's little chance that you'd remotely know what the heck is going on. The cinematography is so dark, dreary & murky that it's a wonder that anyone could stay awake through the proceedings. The sets might be cool, but you can't SEE anything in the laborious black/blue-ness of each scene. The dialogue is HORRENDOUS. Not only is it juvenile & nonsensical, but it then has the audacity to throw in something high-brow, like when Charles Dance talks about "mise-en-scene" -- like ... come on! And the action? Video game-like. Poorly edited. Poorly lit. No clarity. And it is executed with disastrously ineffective CGI.
Mileage will vary on Kate Beckinsale's performance in these Underworld films. One person might find her strong, stylish, believable, & take-charge. One person might find her charisma-free, wooden, & irksome. Theo James is fine; nothing more, nothing less. Charles Dance tries to class-up the joint, but he's really only here for the paycheck. Lara Pulver chews scenery & vamps it up as Semira. But I was also skeeved out by a gross, implied sexual moment btwn. her & another vampire. I miss the campy presence of Bill Nighy & Michael Sheen from other films in this franchise. Listen, folks. There's just NOTHING to get invested in, here. The plot is devoid of tension or excitement. And at 82 min. in length, this film somehow managed to feel both interminable AND like it barely got started before ending.