Red Sonja (B- or 2.5/4 stars)
Director Richard Fleischer's 1985 sword-&-sorcery saga, 'Red Sonja', is a fairly amusing romp culled from Arnold Schwarzenegger's fantasy adventure epics from 1982 and 1984, Conan the Barbarian & Conan the Destroyer. 6'1", tough-as-nails Brigitte Nielsen stars as the titular red-headed heroine Red Sonja, a woman warrior whose quest is to battle a villain who killed her sister and, sets out on a killing spree to avenge that murder. But let's back track, for a bit. At the film's start, Sonja is raped & left for dead by the murderous army of the power-hungry, tyrannical Queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman, of Conan the Barbarian). A goddess appears & answers her call for vengeance by giving her elevated powers & a magic sword.
Queen Gedren then captures the priestesses of a temple who are guarding 'The Talisman', a mystical glowing orb that both created AND can destroy the world. But one of the priestesses (Jean Agren) - though badly wounded - escapes to seek out her warrior sister, Red Sonja, to warn her about Gedren's megalomaniacal world domination plan. Lord Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a large supporting/co-star role), the Talisman's keeper, insists on helping Sonja and, though she disdains help from any man, she soon respects - and even loves - Kalidor's personality, brawn, & fighting prowess. And so, Red Sonja & Kalidor join-up with an impudent young prince named Tarn (Ernie Reyes, Jr.) & his manservant, Falkon (Paul L. Smith) and ... action, adventure, & mayhem-fueled revenge ensues.
Okay, so despite 'Red Sonja' having a truly atrocious screenplay, with super-serious dialogues, hammy acting, & a horrible sound mix {where voice inflections in post-production don't match what we're seeing from their mouths onscreen, haha} ... I found, as a child, and still do find this movie to be an entertaining and fun sword-&-sorcery epic which plays on the specific physical talents of both co-stars. This is a very cheesy film, and yet, its cheesiness IS its charm. Brigitte Nielsen is bad-ass as our formidable woman warrior avenger. Arnold coasts on his then-newfound superstardom. Even though Sonja is sworn never to give herself over to a man, her chemistry with Kalidor is undeniable and, that's a tribute to Nielsen & Schwarzenegger. Fun fact: Arnold was supposed to film for 1 week, but stayed for 3 and, thanks to editing tricks, wound up being in the movie a heck of a lot more than anticipated once the filmmakers realized they likely had a dud on their hands.
Sandahl Bergman scared the CRAP out of me as a child and, to that, she makes for an exceptionally effective villain. And Ronald Lacey is nearly as effective as baddie, Ikol. The medieval set designs, costumes, hair/make-up, & practical effects work are dazzling in that Dino De Laurentiis kinda way; the Italian-American film producer who specialized in these grandiose sorts of movies. I liked Ennio Morricone's music score; though, as well. Now, 'Red Sonja' takes itself way too seriously, while also being overtly campy; given the source material. But on the whole, this film delivers on intangible entertainment value. 'Red Sonja' could never be confused with a 'good' movie, but its' copious flaws are endearing, in a way. It is wonderfully bizarre, energetic & packs a punch for swift 89 minutes.
Queen Gedren then captures the priestesses of a temple who are guarding 'The Talisman', a mystical glowing orb that both created AND can destroy the world. But one of the priestesses (Jean Agren) - though badly wounded - escapes to seek out her warrior sister, Red Sonja, to warn her about Gedren's megalomaniacal world domination plan. Lord Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a large supporting/co-star role), the Talisman's keeper, insists on helping Sonja and, though she disdains help from any man, she soon respects - and even loves - Kalidor's personality, brawn, & fighting prowess. And so, Red Sonja & Kalidor join-up with an impudent young prince named Tarn (Ernie Reyes, Jr.) & his manservant, Falkon (Paul L. Smith) and ... action, adventure, & mayhem-fueled revenge ensues.
Okay, so despite 'Red Sonja' having a truly atrocious screenplay, with super-serious dialogues, hammy acting, & a horrible sound mix {where voice inflections in post-production don't match what we're seeing from their mouths onscreen, haha} ... I found, as a child, and still do find this movie to be an entertaining and fun sword-&-sorcery epic which plays on the specific physical talents of both co-stars. This is a very cheesy film, and yet, its cheesiness IS its charm. Brigitte Nielsen is bad-ass as our formidable woman warrior avenger. Arnold coasts on his then-newfound superstardom. Even though Sonja is sworn never to give herself over to a man, her chemistry with Kalidor is undeniable and, that's a tribute to Nielsen & Schwarzenegger. Fun fact: Arnold was supposed to film for 1 week, but stayed for 3 and, thanks to editing tricks, wound up being in the movie a heck of a lot more than anticipated once the filmmakers realized they likely had a dud on their hands.
Sandahl Bergman scared the CRAP out of me as a child and, to that, she makes for an exceptionally effective villain. And Ronald Lacey is nearly as effective as baddie, Ikol. The medieval set designs, costumes, hair/make-up, & practical effects work are dazzling in that Dino De Laurentiis kinda way; the Italian-American film producer who specialized in these grandiose sorts of movies. I liked Ennio Morricone's music score; though, as well. Now, 'Red Sonja' takes itself way too seriously, while also being overtly campy; given the source material. But on the whole, this film delivers on intangible entertainment value. 'Red Sonja' could never be confused with a 'good' movie, but its' copious flaws are endearing, in a way. It is wonderfully bizarre, energetic & packs a punch for swift 89 minutes.