Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
(C or 2/4 stars)
Hahahaha. Ohh, 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' ... what a colossal mix of the sublime & the ridiculous. Michael Bay is back to direct this 2nd movie in the Transformer franchise. I just wish he didn't fumble with this sequel as much as he does (with respect to the decent first film). All the major players are back: Optimus Prime, Megatron, Bumblebee, & the humans. Here's the plot (if you can call it that): The peaceful Autobots discover that Megatron's dead body has been stolen from the U.S. Military; specifically, a team called NEST. Seeking revenge, Starscream, & a host of new Decepticons decide to return to Earth on a mission to obtain an ancient weapon (and its key) so they can destroy Earth's sun. To do this, they need to take Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) prisoner, resurrect Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving) with his own "Allspark", & kill Optimus Prime. All this, and I haven't even gotten to the human side of the 'story' yet.
Sam thought that his life had returned to normalcy (after the last film's goings-on) at college. He's still with hot girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox). And Bumblebee is still his best pal/camaro/robot (though he has to leave him home with his irritating parents). But after finding a shard of said Allspark in one of his old sweaters, Sam starts seeing strange symbols; triggering the Decepticons to hunt him down. And they are able to find him at the University of Pennsylvania. Robots start showing up in all shapes, sizes, & forms. Nefarious plans get underway. Cities begin to fall. The humans are frantic. And chaos ensues (though, none of it is particularly riveting). Can NEST annihilate the Decepticons before they completely take-over? Can Sam juggle both college & a jealous girlfriend while trying to save Optimus Prime, his own life, & subsequently the world? It all culminates in one crazy, lengthy war climax in an Egyptian desert. I know ... what!?
Who takes the idea of HASBROS' child toys and evolves it into a story as convoluted, confounding, & silly as this? Most of the characters are annoying. Even the action (while COMPLETELY impressive) wears out its welcome. How hard is it to come up with an engaging, intelligent script with decent character development. When given 2 & a half hours, there's no excuse to not come up with a stellar story. I mean, the 'deus ex machinas' (unbelievable coincidences) that are employed throughout the proceedings are ridiculous. i.e., towards the end of the climactic battle in the desert, 5 minutes is devoted to the aiding of 2 major characters while a plethora of Decepticons crowd around them. (sarcasm: you know, the robots killing everything left & right; the guys who will destroy the Sun any second? No, let's play sentimental music & watch slow-motion sequences of chest pounding & tear-streaked cheeks). SO stupid.
All that said (awful dialogue, poor characters, contrivances) this is the kind of movie that you either like or don't like (apart from its obvious shortcomings). But while I have enjoyed many a poor movie, this one just didn't do it for me. The positives? Whenever Shia LaBeouf & Megan Fox are onscreen, I was interested (couldn't stand his parents, his roommate, or the military characters). I love Bumblebee & Optimus Prime. The action sequences, though overlong, are well choreographed. The special effects: incredible. The music: involving. The locales: lots of fun. The humor: hit & miss. Though, when it missed, it missed BIG; really hated the twin Autobots & their shtick. I also found the sexual innuendo/jokes, foul language, & drug references to be repugnant. Millions of children will be watching this. I just think the 'humor' was extremely cheap & infantile (i.e., dogs humping each other. Come on! Isn't this movie about alien robots?).
The first Transformers film wasn't superb. But it had personality & some coherence. The intergalactic war plot here is poorly executed. And why introduce a ton of new characters to this faux-Epic only to provide little to no back story for either them OR the already existing characters? Everything about this film is longer, louder, & bigger; unnecessarily so. The robot-on-robot battles become tedious (especially when you can barely tell the good guys from the bad). Also tedious were the human onslaughts (missiles, rockets, etc.). Though visually & viscerally astonishing, they just go on & on & on & on; to the point where you're aware of the time as its passing. No good. Technical prowess can only take you so far. Some moments are entertaining, but this is what you call a bad movie.
Sam thought that his life had returned to normalcy (after the last film's goings-on) at college. He's still with hot girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox). And Bumblebee is still his best pal/camaro/robot (though he has to leave him home with his irritating parents). But after finding a shard of said Allspark in one of his old sweaters, Sam starts seeing strange symbols; triggering the Decepticons to hunt him down. And they are able to find him at the University of Pennsylvania. Robots start showing up in all shapes, sizes, & forms. Nefarious plans get underway. Cities begin to fall. The humans are frantic. And chaos ensues (though, none of it is particularly riveting). Can NEST annihilate the Decepticons before they completely take-over? Can Sam juggle both college & a jealous girlfriend while trying to save Optimus Prime, his own life, & subsequently the world? It all culminates in one crazy, lengthy war climax in an Egyptian desert. I know ... what!?
Who takes the idea of HASBROS' child toys and evolves it into a story as convoluted, confounding, & silly as this? Most of the characters are annoying. Even the action (while COMPLETELY impressive) wears out its welcome. How hard is it to come up with an engaging, intelligent script with decent character development. When given 2 & a half hours, there's no excuse to not come up with a stellar story. I mean, the 'deus ex machinas' (unbelievable coincidences) that are employed throughout the proceedings are ridiculous. i.e., towards the end of the climactic battle in the desert, 5 minutes is devoted to the aiding of 2 major characters while a plethora of Decepticons crowd around them. (sarcasm: you know, the robots killing everything left & right; the guys who will destroy the Sun any second? No, let's play sentimental music & watch slow-motion sequences of chest pounding & tear-streaked cheeks). SO stupid.
All that said (awful dialogue, poor characters, contrivances) this is the kind of movie that you either like or don't like (apart from its obvious shortcomings). But while I have enjoyed many a poor movie, this one just didn't do it for me. The positives? Whenever Shia LaBeouf & Megan Fox are onscreen, I was interested (couldn't stand his parents, his roommate, or the military characters). I love Bumblebee & Optimus Prime. The action sequences, though overlong, are well choreographed. The special effects: incredible. The music: involving. The locales: lots of fun. The humor: hit & miss. Though, when it missed, it missed BIG; really hated the twin Autobots & their shtick. I also found the sexual innuendo/jokes, foul language, & drug references to be repugnant. Millions of children will be watching this. I just think the 'humor' was extremely cheap & infantile (i.e., dogs humping each other. Come on! Isn't this movie about alien robots?).
The first Transformers film wasn't superb. But it had personality & some coherence. The intergalactic war plot here is poorly executed. And why introduce a ton of new characters to this faux-Epic only to provide little to no back story for either them OR the already existing characters? Everything about this film is longer, louder, & bigger; unnecessarily so. The robot-on-robot battles become tedious (especially when you can barely tell the good guys from the bad). Also tedious were the human onslaughts (missiles, rockets, etc.). Though visually & viscerally astonishing, they just go on & on & on & on; to the point where you're aware of the time as its passing. No good. Technical prowess can only take you so far. Some moments are entertaining, but this is what you call a bad movie.