Rampage (C- or 1.5/4 stars)
Based on a classic 1980s arcade game, 'Rampage' (directed by Brad Peyton) tells the story of what happens when genetic 'editing' research conducted in outer space crashes into Earth, spreading weaponized DNA remnants from an experiment and, thusly, altering the DNA of 3 animals in their habitats: a friendly albino gorilla in a San Diego, California wildlife center, a lonely wolf in rural Wyoming, & a crocodile in Florida's Everglades. The gorilla, named George, has a special bond with caring primatologist Davis Okoye (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), with whom he communicates via sign language; Davis had saved George as a baby from poachers who killed his whole family. So when George grows substantially in size & strength overnight {from that modified DNA}, Davis knows that something is up.
He confirms this bizarrity when scientist Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris, of Moonlight) arrives at the zoo & explains that these changes are tied to research she did at her former lab, which is currently being run by greedy, evil, $$-hungry, moustache-twirling CEO siblings Claire & Brett Wyden (Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy); they intend to sell the DNA on the black market to the highest bidder. Gov't agent Harvey Russell (a hammy Jeffrey Dean Morgan) shows up to take control, but things get catastrophic after the Wydens emit a powerful frequency atop their skyscraper to attract the enlarged, confused, volatile George, the gigantic wolf-hybrid-flying creature, & the now-dinosaur-like crocodile to the Wyden Labs headquarters in Chicago, Illinois. Davis & Kate follow the animals' path in hopes of finding an antidote & cure that will stop the enormous animals, rescue George, & save humanity from the colossal, 'rampaging' beasts. Mayhem & collateral damage ensues.
What a bust. I didn't expect great things going into 'Rampage', but I suppose I hoped that it would afford my 100 minutes of brainless fun. Even Dwayne Johnson can't save this video game-based adventure flick from its laughable premise, RIDICULOUS dialogue, too much exposition, made-up science, one-note characters, shoddy CGI, implausible scenarios & mind-numbing bash-the-city-to-smitherines action. Johnson's character is downright INVINCIBLE in 'Rampage'; surviving so much, including a gunshot to the abdomen at close range (an 'injury' he treats like nothing more than a scratch). Watching him climb debris, leap from buildings & launch himself in & out of helicopters while being shot is comical; and not in a funny way. As for the other characters, poor Naomie Harris is given little to do. As the Wydens, Malin Akerman & Jake Lacy are so unassailably evil that you don't feel one ounce of pure terror about them ... they're cartoons. Oh, and why cast Joe Mangianello in this film (as a machine-gun wielding mercenary) only to have him be a glorified cameo? It just seemed like utterly pointless casting.
Now, there are stolen moments of amusement. You know, I kinda sorta liked the early scenes in the wildlife center. And some of the action/CGI effects are pretty cool; can't lie. And you can't hate on Dwayne Johnson; he's always going to be an amiable presence in any movie -- its fun watching him do his hero shtick. But I found way too much of 'Rampage' to be exasperating when it came to logic, CRINGE-WORTHY one-liners {i.e., a character looks up to see a huge animal in his view and says "I need a drink" - or - a character gets killed and another character would cheekily say, "that sucks"} and plot resolutions. Blechh.
He confirms this bizarrity when scientist Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris, of Moonlight) arrives at the zoo & explains that these changes are tied to research she did at her former lab, which is currently being run by greedy, evil, $$-hungry, moustache-twirling CEO siblings Claire & Brett Wyden (Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy); they intend to sell the DNA on the black market to the highest bidder. Gov't agent Harvey Russell (a hammy Jeffrey Dean Morgan) shows up to take control, but things get catastrophic after the Wydens emit a powerful frequency atop their skyscraper to attract the enlarged, confused, volatile George, the gigantic wolf-hybrid-flying creature, & the now-dinosaur-like crocodile to the Wyden Labs headquarters in Chicago, Illinois. Davis & Kate follow the animals' path in hopes of finding an antidote & cure that will stop the enormous animals, rescue George, & save humanity from the colossal, 'rampaging' beasts. Mayhem & collateral damage ensues.
What a bust. I didn't expect great things going into 'Rampage', but I suppose I hoped that it would afford my 100 minutes of brainless fun. Even Dwayne Johnson can't save this video game-based adventure flick from its laughable premise, RIDICULOUS dialogue, too much exposition, made-up science, one-note characters, shoddy CGI, implausible scenarios & mind-numbing bash-the-city-to-smitherines action. Johnson's character is downright INVINCIBLE in 'Rampage'; surviving so much, including a gunshot to the abdomen at close range (an 'injury' he treats like nothing more than a scratch). Watching him climb debris, leap from buildings & launch himself in & out of helicopters while being shot is comical; and not in a funny way. As for the other characters, poor Naomie Harris is given little to do. As the Wydens, Malin Akerman & Jake Lacy are so unassailably evil that you don't feel one ounce of pure terror about them ... they're cartoons. Oh, and why cast Joe Mangianello in this film (as a machine-gun wielding mercenary) only to have him be a glorified cameo? It just seemed like utterly pointless casting.
Now, there are stolen moments of amusement. You know, I kinda sorta liked the early scenes in the wildlife center. And some of the action/CGI effects are pretty cool; can't lie. And you can't hate on Dwayne Johnson; he's always going to be an amiable presence in any movie -- its fun watching him do his hero shtick. But I found way too much of 'Rampage' to be exasperating when it came to logic, CRINGE-WORTHY one-liners {i.e., a character looks up to see a huge animal in his view and says "I need a drink" - or - a character gets killed and another character would cheekily say, "that sucks"} and plot resolutions. Blechh.