Beastly (C or 2/4 stars)
A curse transforms a handsome, yet arrogant young man into everything he hates in 'Beastly' (directed by Daniel Barnz), a modern retelling of Beauty & the Beast. Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) is the most popular guy in his private high school, with an ego & swagger to match his suave looks. He's mean, callous, & infatuated with himself; humiliating the weak & less attractive. Pretty girls are objects to him. There IS an exception, however: the sweet, book smart Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), who isn't in the IN-crowd. He inexplicably likes her (though she's not IN or tall or blonde or smokin' hot). However, before anything can possibly develop btwn. them, he makes the enormous mistake of pranking fellow goth classmate, Kendra the Witch (Mary-Kate Olsen, yes, that Olsen, from Full House; but guess what, I loved her in this). Kendra's response? She puts a spell on him & takes away his looks (making him bald, tattooed, & scarred).
The curse is reversible, but there's a deadline, of course: he has exactly 1 year to find someone who can love him for who he is on the inside & get them to say 'I love you' or else he stays "ugly" forever. Kyle's repulsed dad provides him a house in Brooklyn where he can hide from the world, with his only companions being a Jamaican housekeeper (Lisa Gay Hamilton) & a snarky blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris). When Kyle witnesses a drug addict in a struggle with a deadly dealer, he step in, promising to protect the addict under the condition that his daughter comes to live with him at his reclusive Brooklyn home. The daughter? None other than Lindy, of course. Lindy doesn't realize who he is - in confounding Clark Kent/Superman fashion - and he begins the process of getting her to fall for him. But situations tear them apart for quite a while. Will Lindy ever fall for him and say 'I love you' - thus breaking the spell?
I enjoyed 'Beastly' more than I had any right to. Or rather, it went down smoother than I imagined it would. I liked the hopeful message of: people can change & learn from their mistakes. However you spin it, the movie is okay, but still of a poor quality; thanks to the sappy and lackluster writing/direction. 'Beastly' opts to modernize the story (setting, contemporary character traits, technology, high school student's lingo). Some of it is effective. Pettyfer, Hudgens & Olsen trade verbal wits that made my smirk & chuckle. But on the whole, the story is stale & contrived beyond belief (where things happen to characters or characters say/do things only in "movie" world - to make the plot progress). Another slight problem with the script: it made Kyle turn into a freakish emo kid, and not anything like a monster. So he's bald. So he has tattoos. So he has piercings. And so he has what looks like burn scars. I know that Kyle is vain beyond belief. But I feel like Kyle/Hunter (what he calls himself in monster mode) could have been scarier to behold.
My mild enjoyment in 'Beastly' came with the smaller pleasures. 1) The aforementioned sly/salty high school dialogue - early on. I was actually taken aback by the sharp snark spouting from the character's mouths. 2) Vanessa Hudgens surprised me; as I felt nothing from her in High School Musical 3 or the recent Sucker Punch. I also found her cute; which I've never thought of her as, before. 3) Neil Patrick Harris amused me; then again, he normally does. 4) I enjoyed Mary-Kate Olsen's ultra-campy witchiness. And 4) while the 'love story' aspect of the film end QUITE lamely, I enjoyed the (what would qualify as an) epilogue. Overall, 'Beastly' is a corny, wildly predictable re-tread that will probably hit home with young teens.
The curse is reversible, but there's a deadline, of course: he has exactly 1 year to find someone who can love him for who he is on the inside & get them to say 'I love you' or else he stays "ugly" forever. Kyle's repulsed dad provides him a house in Brooklyn where he can hide from the world, with his only companions being a Jamaican housekeeper (Lisa Gay Hamilton) & a snarky blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris). When Kyle witnesses a drug addict in a struggle with a deadly dealer, he step in, promising to protect the addict under the condition that his daughter comes to live with him at his reclusive Brooklyn home. The daughter? None other than Lindy, of course. Lindy doesn't realize who he is - in confounding Clark Kent/Superman fashion - and he begins the process of getting her to fall for him. But situations tear them apart for quite a while. Will Lindy ever fall for him and say 'I love you' - thus breaking the spell?
I enjoyed 'Beastly' more than I had any right to. Or rather, it went down smoother than I imagined it would. I liked the hopeful message of: people can change & learn from their mistakes. However you spin it, the movie is okay, but still of a poor quality; thanks to the sappy and lackluster writing/direction. 'Beastly' opts to modernize the story (setting, contemporary character traits, technology, high school student's lingo). Some of it is effective. Pettyfer, Hudgens & Olsen trade verbal wits that made my smirk & chuckle. But on the whole, the story is stale & contrived beyond belief (where things happen to characters or characters say/do things only in "movie" world - to make the plot progress). Another slight problem with the script: it made Kyle turn into a freakish emo kid, and not anything like a monster. So he's bald. So he has tattoos. So he has piercings. And so he has what looks like burn scars. I know that Kyle is vain beyond belief. But I feel like Kyle/Hunter (what he calls himself in monster mode) could have been scarier to behold.
My mild enjoyment in 'Beastly' came with the smaller pleasures. 1) The aforementioned sly/salty high school dialogue - early on. I was actually taken aback by the sharp snark spouting from the character's mouths. 2) Vanessa Hudgens surprised me; as I felt nothing from her in High School Musical 3 or the recent Sucker Punch. I also found her cute; which I've never thought of her as, before. 3) Neil Patrick Harris amused me; then again, he normally does. 4) I enjoyed Mary-Kate Olsen's ultra-campy witchiness. And 4) while the 'love story' aspect of the film end QUITE lamely, I enjoyed the (what would qualify as an) epilogue. Overall, 'Beastly' is a corny, wildly predictable re-tread that will probably hit home with young teens.